[Note from the author: This article has been one of the three most-read on this website (usually 2000+ unique visitors each month) for the last few years. Obviously, many have questions about this issue which are not readily answered. Rowland Croucher, March 2007]

There's a brand of milk in Australia called 'Big M'. On the 'Net, there's also a big M, masturbation. The following (from various newsgroups) are typical:

*** 'Addicted To Masturbation'

> 'I am a born again Christian and pornography is probably the one of the toughest issues that I and probably everyone else face. The Lord let me know that pornography was no longer something I needed nor was it EVER good for me. I used to be the guy with a drawer full of Playboys in the bathroom and I would masturbate every day! I also know that all of my friends have most of their problems when it comes to pornographic and other sexual issues. I am telling you that the Devil is really pouring on his attack right now and everyday it's getting a little easier to get your hands on some of the junk.

Although I threw out every shred of pornography and cleaned out my hard drive quite some time ago, I notice that my addiction to masturbation has in no way been broken. The Devil is sneaky and it's absolutely true that he attacks from behind and little by little people become enslaved. I am not concerned any longer about salvation (I am a believer and know the grace of the Lord - that is faith and not works)...

I have remained a virgin through all of this for which I am VERY thankful, but I know that Christ reigns in glorious victory and I wish to become stronger in His Spirit and I NEED some help all of this stuff.

The thing is that sex is everywhere!! I don't need to look at pornography. I can open a People magazine and start to masturbate although I may not EVEN HAVE ANY DESIRE to do some other then psychologically.

The truth is that I was on the Internet just about 30 minutes ago and I was running all over the place looking for some pornography. Just a naked body, that's all I wanted to see. I knew that it was certainly not a good thing, but I find more and more porn every time I look and after I was through masturbating I knew things were just not right and that I need some extra insight into this particular struggle of mine.'

*** And another:

>> 'Hi fellow Christians, there is a question that has been bugging me for the longest time, but have not spoken to anyone (except my husband) about it because of its intimate nature: if masturbation is a sin, how is a woman ever to attain orgasm (it is a known fact that most women cannot reach orgasm during intercourse) then? I mean, sometimes I wonder, not at all intending to be blasphemous, why is itthat men can achieve orgasm during intercourse and most women cannot? I mean I understand the physiological explanation, but if masturbation is a sin, then it makes me (as a woman) feel that (do I dare say it?) that God *gulp* is not very fair about this!'

*** And another:

> 'I have been wondering why God has made the mechanism of women having menstruations and men having wet dreams and yet call it "unclean" as in the book of Leviticus. I guess the "unclean" here refers to poor hygiene and not sin. Regarding masturbation, I know that lust is a form of adultery and thinking about the act before putting it into action may be a sin, but what about "fantasies"? Are fantasies sinful? And if it's just the action and mechanism alone, is masturbation still sinful? I believe some of you out there would think that God does not give boys penises to "play with themselves" but eventually make love with a women and masturbation is actually misusing the organ, then isn't sucking our thumb, bitting our fingernails sinful too? Men have sex drives and it is very very difficult to control it, and if the penis is only for sex alone (as well as urination) then why did God give us the ability to erect (babies as well) even if we are not having sex? Why doesn't he make it that only married men can have sex? Why does he give people sexual feelings before marriage?'

*** A single woman, in her forties, a staff-member in a fundamentalist church came for counseling. She'd been referred by her senior pastor, who didn't know her 'problem', and she didn't want to tell him, but she said she 'needed to talk to someone about something.' She sat nervously on the edge of the chair, briefly sketched some aspects of her history, and then paused for a long time. Eventually she stuttered: 'Actually my problem's a terrible one. My church preaches that I'll go to hell for doing this... It's the 'big M'.' 'Oh,' I said, 'masturbation'...

Consider this:

*** 'Sexual release is just as important as any kind of emotional release. Saying that you shouldn't masturbate is like saying that you shouldn't cry when you're upset or hurt, or that you should hold in anger and other emotions. I see no difference between sexual release and emotional release. Not releasing will only result in stress and health problems. And I know that I need no more stress in my life. I figure, if something helps a person relieve stress, clear their mind, and make them feel better (that doesn't hurt others, mind you), then more power to them'. (Woman on Internet newsgroup).

Or, on the other hand, this:

*** The Catechism of the Catholic Church (1994 pp. 564-566) lists six 'Offenses against chastity': lust, masturbation, fornication, pornography, prostitution, and rape. Masturbation (to which most space is given of the six!), 'is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action'. However, some 'psychological and social factors' may 'lessen or even extenuate moral culpability'...

Why is masturbation so controversial for most Christians? Is it simply a 'rub and tickle' that may be good for you? Or is it a habit the devil especially encourages to induce destructive guilt and/or rob us of our 'sexual purity'? How did masturbation get such a 'bad rap' from so many Christian preachers?

An Encyclopedia of Sexual Behaviour notes: 'No form of sexual activity has been more frequently discussed, more roundly condemned and more universally practised than masturbation.' (They say 90% of men masturbate and the other 10% are liars. No one knows how many women masturbate: estimates range from 30% to 90%).

In my counseling practice the subject comes up, almost always without any prompting from me, at least once a fortnight. Men and women are concerned about the fantasies - of real or imaginary people - as they 'do it'. For some women, and a few men, involuntary orgasms are a problem - while dreaming, or, for a woman recently, while she does her floor exercises. In discussions about human sexuality on Internet newsgroups it may come in second to homosexuality. The Internet search engine Alta Vista gave me 26,714 references to the noun (only 11,585 for the verb!). So a lot of people are worried, angry, confused, guilty - or just plain thinking - about masturbation.

The Conservative Approach

For conservative Christians - Catholic, Protestant and others - 'self-abuse' is the misuse of the body, which is the temple of the indwelling spirit of God. God intended the _process of procreation_ to be pleasurable, but to seek that pleasure as an end in itself is - to varying degrees, depending on the group - deadly folly. According to traditional medieval theology, the body and its pleasures are to be treated with disdain. If you 'abuse' yourself you may go insane or blind. Indeed the derivation of the word (Latin 'manus' - hand, and 'stuprare' - to defile) has a pejorative connotation. Pope Leo IX forbad masturbators from being admitted to sacred orders. Aquinas believed masturbation was a worse sin than rape, incest, and adultery (because in these other sins procreation is a possibility). The Jansenists, in the seventeenth century held that the human body is inherently evil.

I found this somewhere on the Net: 'Scientists compounded the fear and loathing - like the 18th century Swiss physician Tissot who believed that blood-flow changes during any kind of sex would cause nerve damage and perhaps insanity; masturbation was especially hazardous. (Those who cared for inmates of insane institutions noted how they frequently masturbated). In the first published psychiatric text published in America, physician Benjamin Rush attributed mania, seminal weakness, dimness of sight, epilepsy, loss of memory, and even death to masturbation. Antimasturbatory devices became available, including a tube lined with metal spikes that fit over the penis. Until this century, young men were sometimes put to bed in straitjackets or with their hands tied to bedposts to make sure they didn't do it. Then there was Kellogg, the cornflakes man, who invented the cereal as one element of a diet he thought would quench the sex drive. For those masturbators whom snacks could not cure, Kellogg suggested circumcision without anesthesia. Finally, around the turn of the century, (despite Freud, who said masturbation may cause a neurosis characterized by fatigue, worry, and lack of physical and mental alertness) physicians started to realize that masturbation was not the evil earlier generations thought it was. Still, it was not until 1940 that a respected textbook, "Diseases of Infancy and Childhood," removed its discussion of masturbation from the chapter titled "Functional and Nervous Disorders."'

For modern conservative Christians, the first question (and it's a good one) usually is: 'What does the Bible say?' They have probably heard preachers and campfire youth speakers quote these texts: 2 Corinthians 7:1: "Let us cleanse ourselves of all filthiness of the flesh." Ephesians 4:22: "Laying aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit." Romans 6:12: "Don't let sin reign in your mortal body that you should obey its lusts." 1 Peter 2:1: "Lay aside all evil." Verse 11: "Abstain from fleshly lusts, which wage war against the soul." Then, if the preacher is warming to his (women don't preach on this, much) theme, he'll cite the story of Onan and some passages from Leviticus.

Onan's sin (Genesis 38:4-10, 46:12, Numbers 26:19, 1 Chronicles 2:30 was not masturbation but failure to impregnate his dead brothers' wife, Tamar. Under the law, if a husband died without his wife having a child, the man's brother was required to marry her and try to get her pregnant, so she would not have to suffer the disgrace of being a woman without children. But Onan didn't want any children of Tamar to be heirs to his brother's estate, so he practised coitus interruptus to prevent her from conceiving. His punishment wasn't for masturbating or coitus interruptus, it was for deliberately disobeying a specific requirement of the ancient Mosaic law.

Then there's Leviticus 15:16-18: 'When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his whole body with water, and he will be unclean till evening. Any clothing or leather that has semen on it must be washed with water, and it will be unclean till evening. When a man lies with a woman and there is an emission of semen, both must bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening.' (See also Deuteronomy 23:10).

This moral/ceremonial requirement of the law has to be put into the context of Israel's purification rituals. 'Who shall stand in the Lord's holy place? Whoever has clean hands and a pure heart...' (Psalm 24:3,4). Most religions have ceremonial rites associated with washing, and Israel was no exception. The Israelites put 'unclean' things into five categories: some foods, diseases (especially leprosy), bodily discharges, dead bodies, and idolatry. I remember reading a book by a Dr. Macmillan ('None of These Diseases' - it's still in print) which says that Jews have always had higher survival rates (eg. during the Black Death) than others because of their purification laws. For example in many Greek and Roman cities the dump was located in the middle of the city. But God instructed the Israelites to take their garbage outside the city. Similarly with washing your hands after touching a dead body. These purification rites do not condemn masturbation (if anything, a 'discharge' is accepted as the sort of thing that frequently happens).

Summary:

The Bible says nothing specifically in favor or against masturbation. Sorry about that.

The liberal approach

Masturbation and pornography are not evil in themselves according to many liberal Christians. After all, it's your own body and your own private life and may be a form of very safe sex.

I found this somewhere on the Net: 'Kinsey and the latest Sex in America report show there's a whole lot of shaking going on. Today's sex researchers have come to grips with the fact that masturbation has important physical and emotional benefits for both men and women. 'Masturbation is a normal, natural activity throughout life,' says Robert Pollack, a psychology professor at the University of Georgia. It may even contribute to mental health and not doing it may lead to psychosexual problems.

'For men, masturbation or regular sex is good for the prostate and can prevent painful prostate blockage. For women it can help reduce cramping and for both men and women has been shown to have a healthy effect on the immune systems as well as reducing overall tension and helping emotions.

'Besides being healthy for the body, a private grope can help both a man and a woman better understand their own sexuality. If you can learn to lie back and enjoy it and really pay attention to the pleasure it gives your body - no one knows better than you what gives you maximum pleasure - you can share that knowledge with a partner and have more mutually fulfilling sexual pleasure sharing. The self-awareness gained from masturbation makes it a central feature of many sex therapy programs.

'Evolution may have even designed us to be masturbators. Notice when you are standing where your hand falls if you hang it in front of you. Apes do it, dogs and cats do it, elephants do it and even porcupines have been observed doing it, probably very carefully. One reason we may be so programmed, paradoxically, is to increase our odds of producing offspring. Older sperm can lose their ability to swim well. A good masturbatory flush guarantees fresh, robust sperm for mating.

'Storing seminal fluids for long periods can also cause prostate congestion, which in turn can lead to urinary and ejaculatory pain. Regular ejaculations, either through masturbation or intercourse, can help ward off this condition, also called nonspecific prostatitis and, for obvious reasons, "sailor's disease" and "priest's disease."

'Another reason why nature designed us to masturbate is to strengthen PC muscles, much like "Kegel" exercises. This is especially true in females where strong PC muscles are practically the sole factor in whether labor is easy and fast or long and difficult. Females masturbating regularly with multiple orgasms would develop strong PC muscles and should have easier labor.

'Masturbation is also an ever-renewable health resource. In fact, the people who start the earliest and do it the most often are the ones who do it longest into old age. So, as with all sexual activity, it's "use it or lose it."' And so on...

But both conservatives and liberals may be missing the point. Conservatives may be wrong: not all masturbation is sinful. Liberals may be wrong: some masturbation may be harmful or even evil.

'Lonely' masturbation is self-isolating sex without intimacy. It disassociates the sexual act from a loving relationship, and is therefore often a symptom of a deeper problem. When an act is purely centered on self, it can become spiritually unhealthy. Many homosexuals I counsel have a particular problem here.

Now, in the context of a marriage spouses caress one another for mutual gratification. And I know some couples who agree to masturbate to avoid sin when apart. Those who travel on business are particularly vulnerable: I know men who masturbate to fantasize about their wife and to prevent thinking of other objects of sexual fantasy or to avoid getting involved with porn in lonely motels. And masturbation can provide a non-destructive genital outlet when sexual intercourse is not possible e.g. for celibates, or those with sick spouses.

For Christians, I've found there are three broad issues. First, the masturbation habit has produced heaps of bad shame, guilt, confusion and condemnation in a lot of people, particularly younger Christians. Most of it has been stoked by guilt-producing preaching. It's the old story: the intolerant pharisee in us all majoring on sins of the flesh rather than on sins of the spirit, which are worse, according to Jesus.

The second issue is self-control - a product of the Holy Spirit's presence in our lives (Galatians 5:23, 2 Timothy 1:7). If a habit has mastery over us - particularly if it is obsessive - it can be a serious problem. If, for example, you are going to great lengths trying to find nudity on the net to masturbate, that becomes a bondage. You are no longer in control and Jesus is not in control of you.

Now disciplined self-control is not one of the favorite topics for the liberals I know. But without it we will never mature --in life or in the Christian life. When someone comes for counseling and sincerely wants to break this habit, I take their resolve seriously - even if I may not agree with the seriousness with which they view it all. I agree with them: determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You must decide that you will end this practice, and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once. But it must be more than a hope or a wish, more than knowing that it is good for you. It must be actually a decision. If you truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you. Remember - 'First a thought, then an act' - so never read pornographic material. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise to reduce emotional tension and depression. Above all, pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit to strengthen you against temptation...

The third issue is fantasizing, where we imagine general or specific scenes or persons as we masturbate. This is associated with the deadly sin of 'lust' - coveting someone else for our gratification (see Matthew 5:27-28). If a habit like masturbation becomes compulsive in this respect, it would be good to get professional advice.

The conservatives have been wrong. To quote the relevant article in the respected 'Dictionary of Pastoral Care and Counseling' (Abingdon, 1990): 'There is no evidence that masturbation, regardless of frequency, leads to physical or mental disorders. [Sneezing and masturbation] are both usually orgasmic experiences in which tensions are relieved... Never has a more harmless activity provoked more harmful anxiety.'

But is it totally harmless? The problem with liberal thinking is its denial of the self-centeredness of this habit. This means that for years you know how to gratify self and when you are with your marriage partner, self may still be the focus of your sexual relationship. This is dangerous to a marriage because you may not be seeking what will make your partner happy but purely your own fulfilment. And let's not kid ourselves: pornography was created largely to simulate lust - and for masturbation. They both go hand in hand. You have to take control of your own life. Don't let your sex organs do your thinking for you. My strong suggestion to those whose habit is out of control: feed your mind with good things (Philippians 4:8). Learn to pray well. Burn all your pornography and don't ever buy any more. Get one or two trusted others to pray with/for you and keep in touch. We are all in this together. This goes for those trying to break free from a homosexual lifestyle also. It's not going to be easy. The 'world, the flesh and the devil' will constantly attack some through their sex drive to pervert their mind. God created our sex drive for the marriage relationship. As one pastor exhorted: 'Put the Sword of the Spirit back into your hand. Put the Shield of Faith in the other. Then your hands won't be free to commit sin.'

To teenagers I hear myself saying: 'Sexuality is not evil. This is not something strange you are going through. God knows you are a sexual being and created you that way. God created you to have a blessed sexual relationship with your spouse. We were born with sexual urges and unless you become a eunuch you will have the sex drive until you are old and grey. That is not sin. Puberty is preparing you for the adult world. You have new desires and you are in unfamiliar territory. The human body was created to be able to reproduce. Part of the reproductive process is stimulation of the genitals, and for men erection and ejaculation. In pre-industrial cultures, when children reached puberty and they started maturing sexually, they married. When they got the urge, it was time to marry. Better to marry than to 'burn' writes an ancient Christian, the apostle Paul. Today, there is such a great gulf between the first sexual urges and the age where a human is mature enough to accept all the responsibilities of marriage and a family. When nakedness is being hidden from children and adolescence, it is supposedly done so that the sexual urge will not be fed.'

To married couples I hear myself saying: 'Talk about your sexuality frankly with your partner. Learn what is pleasurable for you and teach your spouse: he or she hasn't got your body, and they won't know instinctively. For some women whose sexual needs are not as demanding as their male partner's, and who need more time to climax, you may agree to offer the gift of frequency in exchange for the gift of time. Today's glossy magazines promise mutual orgasms whenever you want them. Life isn't like that for most people. Certainly mutual orgasmic experience is wonderful: but it won't always be mutual - not even the crescendos. Orgasms - fast or slow, mild or wild - are not the basic goal of sex, but rather mutual love and intimacy...

At this point some are asking, 'OK. Rowland what do you really think about masturbation?' This quote from evangelical counselor/author Gary Collins would represent my own general position:

'Christian counselors differ in their view of masturbation. It has been called 'sin', 'a gift from God', and an issue which is 'no big deal... on God's list of priorities.'

Masturbation can... produce guilt; can be a means of escaping from loneliness and interpersonal (including sexual) relationships with others into a world of fantasy; can increase self-centredness and lowered self-esteem; and can stimulate and be stimulated by lust... Masturbation is rarely helped by a direct determination to quit. This focuses attention on the issue, increases anxiety, and makes failure more incriminating. Masturbation can be reduced by prayer, a sincere willingness to let the Holy Spirit control, involvement in busy activities involving others, an avoidance of sexually arousing material (such as erotic pictures or novels), a practice of not dwelling on harmful sexual fantasies, and a recognition that sin (including lust) will be forgiven when it is confessed with sincerity and sorrow... When there is open communication on the subject of sex, including masturbation... it will... not become a major problem... It's high time we stop making such a 'big deal' out of masturbation and give it the well-deserved unimportance it merits.

Gary Collins, Christian Counseling, Waco Texas: Word Books, 1980, p.296, from Rowland Croucher, The Family: at Home in a Heartless World (HarperCollins), quoted with permission.

And finally this: a quote from a medical doctor who counsels missionaries, Dr. Marjorie Foyle: 'Masturbation is in my view often no more than a pressure cooker blowing off steam. Usually some life adjustment resolves the problem... [in times of tension] the pressure cooker blows: in anger, in masturbation, or in other ways.' ('Overcoming Stress in Singleness', EMQ, April '85, pp. 141-2).

If masturbation is addictive, as with all addictions there will be withdrawal symptoms. It will be hard for you. But I know you can do it because Jesus will give you the strength. And remember you are not alone. God will guide you (Proverbs 3:5,6) and bless you.