FORGIVENESS IS VITAL TO YOUR MARITAL HEALTH by David & Claudia Arp, authors of THE SECOND HALF OF MARRIAGE and 10 GREAT DATES TO REVITALIZE YOUR MARRIAGE

The need for forgiveness is universal -- and it's vital if you want to have a healthy marriage. No two people agree on everything, and if they did, one would be unnecessary.

Unfortunately, in a marriage when we don't see eye to eye, we often become irritated with each other and say things we later regret. When we do, we need to clear the air and forgive one another.

A relationship must include forgiveness if it is to grow.

In the closeness of a marriage, we have lots of opportunities to forgive and ask for forgiveness. Maybe you find yourself needing to ask for forgiveness from time to time. Maybe you're in that situation right now. Stop and ask yourself:

1. Have I used any unkind words lately?

2. Have I broken my mate's trust?

3. Have I selfishly ridden over the rights of others?

4. Have I allowed bitterness and hate to enter my life?

Nothing kills a relationship more quickly than bitterness, hate, or resentment. Now is the time to clear the air. Ask your mate for forgiveness today. But do it in the appropriate way.

Here's a tip. When you ask for forgiveness, start your sentence with "I" and let the statement reflect back on you. You could say something like, "I'm sorry I was angry and shouted at you. Will you please forgive me?"

How you ask for forgiveness can make a big difference in your mate's response. When you don't attack your mate and just deal with your own transgressions, you can defuse the angry situation.

Forgiveness is vital to healthy relationships. It's the oil that lubricates the friction of closeness in the daily routine of a marriage! So since neither is perfect, generously lubricate your relationship with forgiveness!

Your marriage will grow strong and healthy!

This Marriage Builder is excerpted from the book, 60 ONE-MINUTE MARRIAGE BUILDERS, by Dave & Claudia Arp. For information about how to order this book, or other Marriage Alive Couple Enrichment resources, email

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