Clergy Talk - Opinions from Clergy on Selected Topics Information presented here is based on a topic of discussion. A small group of clergy responded to the question below. Their response is simply that, "their" response. Any opinions stated here do NOT necessarily reflect the opinions and/or agreement of the Hopeful Hands ministry. The current discussion question is on the topic of "Anger at God."

Questions from Hopeful Hands to various Clergy members:

Anger is a challenge for many of us. Very often, I get notes from survivors of abuse who say that their own anger (at the abuser, God, themselves, or the recovery process itself) gets in the WAY of their relationship with God.(Understandable!)

QUESTION: Is Anger at God okay? Response from Keith Joyce, email:

Anger at God is not good as a continuous and intentional state of mind that a person sees as completely acceptable. Anger at God is good when it is part of how a person feels due to abandonment, or the lack of understanding of why the abuse happened in the first place. The latter is part of one's relationship with God and He can handle it. It's important to admit it and express it so that it is part of the dialogue a person can have with God. It is also important for the person to acknowledge the concept of dialogue or conversation so that he or she can hear the Lord's healing and loving words in response. These come from the Bible, in prayer, as expressed by another person, by the Holy Spirit's inspiration and infilling, etc.

QUESTION: How does one move BEYOND such anger? Difficult. Talking about it helps. Getting some understanding about how God works, about what He does and does not do, about the place of God-given free will and why God does not always stop the abuser due to him or her choosing to do wrong, etc. What is also important is offering each stage of understanding, while also admitting that not all questions have been dealt with, to God the Holy Spirit. Also, it's important to encourage people to know that having and expressing that anger will not drive God away and also to assure them that His love for them will never stop.

QUESTION: How can one draw near to God even in the midst of their anger? Probably the best way is by speaking to him and venting that anger consciously because you have to pay close attention to the object of your anger. But then it would be important to simply be quiet, once the venting has taken place, in His presence, perhaps without any expectation of anything in return. Just simply be in His presence, and being conscious of His presence, that one's existence and feelings are in the context, the environment of His presence. Hopefully this will help the person understand and appreciate that his or her anger has not removed him or her from God's presence.

QUESTION: What have you learned in your work with survivors (especially related to anger) that might be useful feedback/encouragement for other survivors? To assure a survivor that I (as their pastor/counsellor) will not reject them because of their anger, to give them the "room" to deal with it and express it no matter what they want to say. I give them no words of condemnation, and allow them to grow in their own way in the faith i.e. I don't expect them to have to express their faith in the "right" or "acceptable" phrases, and I sure them that they are welcome to come to church or not as they are comfortable, and if they have to come and go within the service that's fine, too.

QUESTION: Is Anger at God okay? Response from Rowland Croucher email:

Yes: God is the author of our emotions; feelings are neither right nor wrong. God accepts our anger. Half the Psalms are laments, many of them angry.

QUESTION: How does one move BEYOND such anger? How can one draw near to God even in the midst of their anger?

Talk with an experienced counselor/ spiritual director...

QUESTION: What have you learned in your work with survivors (especially related to anger) that might be useful feedback/encouragement for other survivors?

Don't allow ignorant people to say 'You've gotta forgive the abuser, NOW, totally!' It usually short-circuits the healing process. But be _willing_ for forgive: the time will come, hopefully, when that can happen (usually in stages)...

Selected responses from clergy will appear from time to time on this page of the Hopeful Hands Web site. If you are a clergy member and would like be be included on the list to receive such topics/questions and to have your response considered for publication here, please write to Cindy, Director of Hopeful Hands Ministry: Please put "Add to Clergy List" in the subject line of your email.

Thank you!