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Family & Relationships








Teaching Babies About God!

By Chip Alford

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (BP)--Can you really "teach" babies about God?

Recent findings on brain development suggest an affirmative answer to that question.

"Babies are beginning to form associations about everything in their world, so how could you not begin introducing them to God and Jesus?" Lynette Henderson, a doctoral student at the George Peabody College of Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tenn., asked. "Will they understand those concepts the way older children or adults will? Of course not. But you're laying a foundation."

Henderson led the session, "Brain Development in Children," during the National Preschool-Children Convention Oct. 19-22 at LifeWay Christian Resources of the Southern Baptist Convention in Nashville.

Henderson said physical things happen to the brain as babies form associations and learn. "As teachers, we are modelers or remodelers of the brain, depending on the age of the children we teach," she said.

While the most important stages of brain development occur between birth and age 3, Henderson said the earliest signs of it appear soon after conception. In-utero, fetuses are already aware of light and sounds, and studies have even shown children can recognize stories that were read to them while they were in their mother's womb.

Babies enter the world with approximately 100 billion nerve cells in their brain, Henderson said, and their total number of cells never exceeds what they have in the first year of their lives. During that initial year, trillions of connections (synapses) are made between brain cells. The growth of these connections results in the rapid acquisition of skills experienced by babies, such as responding to human voices, using hands together to grasp objects, sitting up and crawling.

According to "Do Babies Matter?" a leaflet compiled by LifeWay's preschool Sunday school ministry department, genes determine general brain structure, but the environment begins to influence development immediately after birth. Experience literally provides the organizing framework for the child's brain.

"Genes, the environment and experiences work together to affect development," Henderson said. "You often hear about a 'fight' between 'nature' and 'nurture.' But it's not a fight; it's a dance. They work together; you have to have both."

Laboratory work and imaging studies (such as MRIs and EEGs) have allowed scientists to learn much about brain development in babies in recent years. The LifeWay leaflet mentioned these recent findings:

-- Many abilities depend on the maturation of particular nerve cells. Repetition of activities is needed to strengthen neural networks. Repeating tasks -- sending the same messages to the brain over and over -- seems to result in chemical and anatomical changes that help a baby retain something he or she has learned.

-- Music (listening, singing) trains the brain for higher forms of thinking.

-- It takes two years for the cells which control posture and movement to form functional circuits. Organization of these cells takes place using information gleaned from when the child moves about his or her world. Restricting activity inhibits the formation of connections.

-- Every interaction can contribute to a baby's brain development.

-- Because no two babies have the same experiences, no two brains are wired the same.

Babies learn spiritual truths the same way they learn other things -- through their senses, by doing and through relationships, the LifeWay leaflet states. The publication urges churches to provide Sunday school departments that teach biblical truths to babies, not just a baby-sitting service for parents. It suggests offering rooms that allow babies to explore and discover God's world in a safe and loving environment, and training teachers of babies in the use of Sunday school curriculum.

As babies grow older and enter classroom environments at church and school, Henderson said it is important for educators to develop a strategy that maximizes the potential of the children they influence. An educational setting that encourages learning, she said, is rich in information and also includes these important elements:

-- interactive technology,

-- sensory experiences,

-- options for children within a framework of daily opportunities,

-- exposure to several languages,

-- literacy experiences,

-- field trips and visitors,

-- emotional and social worlds of learning,

-- parent involvement and training,

-- social interaction opportunities and training,

-- appropriate amounts of repetition and review.

"Such an early childhood educational environment would allow the potential for thinking present in any child to emerge and flower optimally during the period in which neural connections are being most rapidly formed," Henderson said. "The potential for giftedness would unfold in those who may possess it, and those with more typical potential, or whose potential may have received a biological or environmental insult, may also flower or recover in such a brain-building environment."

The National Preschool-Children Convention was sponsored by LifeWay Church Resources, a division of LifeWay Christian Resources.


Teach spiritual 'building blocks' to babies, LifeWay leaflet suggests

By Staff

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (BP)--What should you teach babies? The leaflet, "Do Babies Matter?" produced by the preschool Sunday school ministry department at LifeWay Christian Resources of the Southern Baptist Convention, suggests teaching these foundational truths as building blocks for all other spiritual truths: -- Self: God made me. I am a person. I am special. I am growing. I can do many things. I can make choices. -- Church: I see people at church. People at church love me. People at church take care of me. People at church talk and sing about Jesus. I have friends at church. -- Family: I have a family. My family loves me. My family cares for me. -- God: God is a name. God is a person. God loves me. -- Natural world: God made me. God made things I can explore with my senses. God made things I can discover. God made things I can enjoy. God made the plants. God made the animals. -- Others: I am aware of other people. People love me. People take care of my needs. -- Bible: The Bible is a book. The Bible is a special book. I hear about God and Jesus when the Bible is used. -- Jesus: Jesus is a name. Jesus is a person. Jesus was a baby. Jesus had a family. Jesus loves me. Easter is a special day.


Adults advised to strategize, not scold strong-willed children

By Terri Lackey

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (BP)--Strong-willed kids are willing to die for their causes -- no matter how small -- and dealing with them successfully requires strategy, not scolding, a leader in the field of learning styles said.

"You must try to inspire strong-willed kids to do the right thing because if you back them in the corner and say, 'Do this or else,' they're going to choose 'or else,'" said Cynthia Tobias, an author, speaker and professor in the field of learning styles. She addressed the final sessions of the Oct. 19-22 Preschool/Children National Convention, sponsored by LifeWay Church Resources, a division of LifeWay Christian Resources.

Tobias, founder and CEO of AppLe St., a learning styles educational program firm, knows whereof she speaks.

"It takes one to know one. As a kid, I would have died rather than do something I didn't want to do. And if I'm willing to die and you're not, I win. I don't care if I am dead, I win.

"Which means I'm not your typical child if I'm willing to die for my way."

Tobias stressed a child with a strong will can be positive, albeit trying.

"It doesn't have to mean rebellion and defiance. Is it a bad thing? No, it isn't."

However, teachers who deal with strong-willed children and parents who live with them could benefit from understanding what pushes their buttons and how to handle them, she said.

"There are five keys to understanding a strong-willed kid's mind," Tobias said:

1) Strong-willed children don't have trouble with authority; they have trouble with how it's communicated.

"It's not the authority. It's how you tell me. You can say, 'Clean up this mess,' and get no results or you can say, 'Let's clean up this mess' and usually get action. It's so small, but it's so crucial."

2) Strong-willed children need compelling problems to solve, not chores to do.

"They don't want your list of chores; they want to know the problem. They don't want to feel like you're the boss, and they don't understand why you get to decide who does what."

Tobias said strong-willed kids want to know what the point and the problem is and they want to be involved in the solution.

3) It is in the nature of strong-willed children to call your bluff.

"Secretly they hope you will hold to it," she said.

Tobias told the story of how she demanded that her strong-willed twin son, Michael, 7, put away his toys.

"Of course, he refused. I knew when I said it, it was wrong, but it was too late. Then I heard myself saying, 'Michael, if you don't put up these toys, I'm going to give them all away.'"

Michael didn't put them up, so Tobias had to gather them all up and give them away.

"And these were very expensive toys. He was 4 at the time and, to this day he has never once mentioned those toys."

The point, Tobias said, is that when you demand something of a strong-willed kid, the chance he or she will call you on it is high. So be careful about what is threatened and be ready to follow through.

"It could hurt you more than it hurts him."

4) Strong-willed children do not feel compelled to follow rules or demands that do not make sense to them.

"They have problems with arbitrary rules. They have to have good reasons for rules. The rules have to make sense to them."

5) Strong-willed children don't need to control adults, but they can't have all the control taken away from them.

"When you say do something, period, you've taken away their choices. God gave them a free will, and they use it." They'll drive you crazy if you predictably react. It's just irresistible to them."

Tobias offered five strategies for dealing with strong-willed children.

1) Find as many ways as possible to help strong-willed kids feel unique and special.

"The best thing you can notice about them is that they are not like everybody else. They want to be unique and special and feel valued."

Tobias said the gift of sarcastic humor often found in strong-willed children is not always appreciated when they are young, but can come in very handy as an adult.

"I was a police officer for six years, and I never once had to use profanity. I found my sarcasm worked much better. Strong-willed kids can use that wonderful wit and talent for something good."

2) Avoid phrases like "you must," "you have to" or "no way are you going to do ... ."

Tobias offered "one magic word that works on strong-willed children 80 percent of the time."

The word is OK.

Tobias said, "Put your seatbelt on, OK?" works better than a command to fasten a seatbelt.

3) Choose battles.

"Don't make everything non-negotiable. Ask yourself, Is it worth it? You can't win with a strong-willed kid because he's dying for 'it.' They'll drive you crazy if you predictably react. It's just irresistible to them."

4) Lighten up, but don't let up.

"Going easy on the child does not mean you let him get away with things, it means you lighten up with the heavy-handed stuff. Ease up. Be friendly."

5) Make sure the child knows he or she is loved unconditionally.

"Be sure they know there is nothing they can do that will make you stop loving them. If they know your love is unconditional, they will know God's love is unconditional as well."


Be a positive voice on children's issues, former legislator urges church workers

By Chip Alford

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (BP)--What are local, state and national leaders doing to address children's issues? Not enough, according to a former majority leader for the Tennessee legislature.

Speaking to more than 650 preschool and children's workers attending a conference at LifeWay Christian Resources in Nashville, Tenn., Bill Purcell cited a recent survey which found more than 80 percent of Americans believe their leaders aren't doing enough to help children. Purcell, now director of the Child and Family Policy Center at the Vanderbilt Institute of Public Policy Studies in Nashville, said one reason is that, until recently, government leaders "just didn't have good information."

But that's beginning to change.

"This is a critical time in our dealings with government leaders regarding children's issues because now they realize there is a problem," Purcell said during a session at the Oct. 19-21 National Preschool-Children Convention. He cited a survey by a pediatrics organization which found that children's issues were at the top of the list of concerns for the majority of Americans, including many who had no children of their own.

What kind of problems is America facing regarding its children? Answering that question, Purcell shared these disturbing statistics:

-- The number of children born to unwed mothers has quadrupled in the last two decades;

-- 64 percent of children born to unwed mothers live below the poverty line (compared to 12 percent of children born to married couples);

-- More than 13 million children age 6 or younger spend some or all of their day being cared for by someone other than their parents;

-- 10 percent of all child care is physically dangerous to children;

-- 50 percent of all day care fails to positively influence the development of children;

-- While the number of children born to teenage mothers ages 15 to 17 decreased from 39 to 34 births per thousand between 1991 and 1996, it still remains alarmingly high;

-- Thousands of children in each state are not being immunized against diseases.

The government alone can't solve these problems, but it has an appropriate role to play, Purcell said. And church leaders can help by making sure legislators have good information, facts and direction.

"Information is, in so many ways, the key to power and the key to change," Purcell said. "And nothing in the world has changed to keep your legislators from doing the right thing if they want to."

During his term as a legislator in Tennessee, Purcell said a second-grader brought a pistol to school, a fifth-grader gave birth to a baby "and children began killing children." For lasting change in these and other troubling areas, he said churches and communities must look for ways to address problems together. In addition, church and lay leaders must constantly remind legislators that children's issues are a priority.

But the biggest influence church leaders can have, Purcell said, is through education and ministry in their day-to-day contacts with parents and children.

"Ultimately, I think we have to be straightforward and say, 'God was right about this, you know.'"



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