A personal testimony of an adult woman recalling the fear of pregnancy after being
raped at the age of 11.

"I went to the toilet and wondered what all the ‘sticky stuff’ was on me. I tried
to wipe it of. All of a sudden a huge fear overtook me. ‘This must be what makes a person
pregnant’. I was scared. I decided that I would never tell anyone that I was pregnant,
because they would kill my baby. I had heard about abortions and I was sure that’s what
they would do to my baby if they knew that I was pregnant. I started wearing loose fitting
clothes, trying to hide the ‘pregnancy’. I figured that since I am so young my baby would
be very small and that’s why I wasn’t showing a lot.

Every time I went to the toilet, especially if I had a sore tummy, I was expecting my
baby to be born. I thought that maybe it would be a size of Tumbalina. I was planning to
wash and hide the baby in my wardrobe, so that no-one would take him/her from me. I looked
for doll’s clothes that I could wear on him/her. I promised my ‘baby’ that I would be a
good mother, and would never let anyone take him/her from me.

I lived under this fear for about twelve months. Around then someone told me that
humans are pregnant for nine months, after which I felt confused. I no longer had my
baby." 

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