A personal testimony of an adult woman recalling the fear of pregnancy after being raped at the age of 11.

"I went to the toilet and wondered what all the 'sticky stuff' was on me. I tried to wipe it of. All of a sudden a huge fear overtook me. 'This must be what makes a person pregnant'. I was scared. I decided that I would never tell anyone that I was pregnant, because they would kill my baby. I had heard about abortions and I was sure that's what they would do to my baby if they knew that I was pregnant. I started wearing loose fitting clothes, trying to hide the 'pregnancy'. I figured that since I am so young my baby would be very small and that's why I wasn't showing a lot.

Every time I went to the toilet, especially if I had a sore tummy, I was expecting my baby to be born. I thought that maybe it would be a size of Tumbalina. I was planning to wash and hide the baby in my wardrobe, so that no-one would take him/her from me. I looked for doll's clothes that I could wear on him/her. I promised my 'baby' that I would be a good mother, and would never let anyone take him/her from me.

I lived under this fear for about twelve months. Around then someone told me that humans are pregnant for nine months, after which I felt confused. I no longer had my baby."