What is bullying?

Bullying can mean many different things. These are some ways children and young people have described bullying:

-being called names

-being teased

-being pushed or pulled about

-being hit or attacked

-having your bag and other possessions taken and thrown around

-having rumours spread about you

-being ignored and left out

-being forced to hand over money or possessions

-being attacked because of your religion or colour

Children get bullied at school - in the playground, in class or in the toilets  on their way to and from school  on the bus  in the park

What does it feel like to be bullied?

Bullying hurts. It makes you scared and upset. It can make you so worried that you can’t work well at school. Some children have told us they have skipped school to get away from it. It can make you feel that you are no good, that there is something wrong with you. Bullies can make you feel that it’s your fault..

Why do bullies do it?

They have their own problems - they may feel upset or angry or feel that they don’t fit in - perhaps they have problems at home?

Maybe they get bullied themselves, perhaps by someone in their own family or other adults?

They’re scared of getting picked on so they do it first

They want to show off and seem tough

Many don’t like themselves and so take it out on someone else

Sometimes adults bully too

Adults can and do bully children - mums and dads, other family members, and teachers, for example. They may do it by making you feel bad in front of other people, by shouting and scaring you, by teasing or making fun of you. It can be very difficult to do something about it, especially if the adult is the one you would normally go to about being bullied. Don’t give up find a sympathetic adult, perhaps another teacher and talk to them about the problem.

How to stop the bullying

If you are being bullied, you can do something about it.

You can make a difference!

TELL, TELL, TELL

Practise what you want to say

Keep a note or diary of what is happening

Don’t give up

Ask your parents to visit the school

Talk over what to do with a friend, a teacher, your mum or dad or someone you trust

Remember that teachers have to listen carefully when a child tells them about being bullied.

Remember - it’s right to tell an adult that you are being bullied and to ask for their help. But you don’t have to let them take over. You can talk with them about what you would like to happen.

Are you a bully?

If you are bullying, or have bullied someone, it is a good idea to get some help. Who could you speak to? A teacher? Your parents? ChildLine?

Helping a friend

Maybe you’re not being bullied, but you know someone who is - perhaps that person is not even a good friend, but a class-mate or someone from another class? Have you ever stood around and noticed that someone was being bullied, but you weren’t sure what, if anything, you could do? Or thought that nothing you could do would make a difference?

Don’t ignore bullying. You can help. Don’t let the bullies get away with thinking that no-one will do anything. Here are a few things you can do, and a couple that you can’t:

Don’t rush over and take them on - it might not be safe and you don’t want other people to think you are a bully

Let a teacher or other adult know what’s happening

Try to be a friend to the person being bullied

Refuse to join in

Try to be friendly to the bully, but even if you can’t be friends, being kind can sometimes help the bully stop bullying

Sometimes you can’t sort it out yourself. Ask an adult for help

Your school can help

Your school should be clearly saying NO to bullying.

Get everyone in your school involved in tackling bullying, not just the teachers, but other pupils, dinner ladies and playground assistants.

Find out how much bullying goes on in your school.

Get together with other pupils and a teacher to organise a questionnaire about bullying (you can make sure that no-one reads the individual answers by putting them in a locked box). Once you have received all the answers, you can write up a short report for everyone to read.

Make sure your school has a good selection of anti-bullying books and other information in its library. Suggest that the school runs an anti-bullying week.

Talk to your teachers about having assemblies and discussions in class about bullying - classes could produce posters, pictures, poems, stories, plays which could be shared with the rest of the school.

Children need to feel safe at break time and lunchtime in the playgrounds - are there lots of things to do and supervisors around?

Get your school put up ChildLine posters?

In some schools, older children help younger children if they are being bullied. Some have set up "peer counselling" schemes run by the pupils to help children who are being bullied, but also to help children who bully. If you would like more information about peer counselling, ask your teachers. ChildLine can also give you some information about it.

ChildLine can help

ChildLine is the free telephone helpline for children and young people. You can ring any time of day, any day of the year. It’s free and it’s confidential - that means that no-one else will know about the conversation unless you decide to tell them.

The call will not show up on the family phone bill, although it may if you use a mobile or cable phone. Sometimes it’s hard to get through, because the lines are all busy. But keep trying, you will get through eventually.

Many children call ChildLine to talk about bullying. Last year, over 10,000 children called. If you want to talk to someone, you can speak to one of our counsellors. Just ring 0800 1111.

Or you can write to Freepost 1111, London N1 0BR. You don’t have to use a stamp.

If you live in Scotland, you can also phone ChildLine’s Bullying Line on 0800 441111. It’s open from Monday to Friday - 3.30pm-9.30pm.

Where can you go for help and information?

ChildLine Helpline 0800 1111 (open 24 hours a day, every day).

Kidscape Helpline - 0171 730 3300 (open Mon and Wed 9.30am - 5.30pm).

Kidscape produces leaflets and booklets about bullying.

Anti bullying campaign Helpline - 0171 378 1446 (open Mon-Fri 9.30am - 5.30pm).

They also produce leaflets and information for parents.

Some people say...

1."Bullying is just part of growing up...." It isn’t. You don’t have to put up with it. Adults don’t put up with being hit and shouted out when they go to work. You shouldn’t have to, either.

2."If you hit back, you won’t get bullied again...." Don’t believe it. It may work sometimes, but it is just as likely to make things worse.

3."Only victims get bullied...." It is not true that some people are more likely to be bullied than others. Although some people are bullied because they may be different in some way (they have a disability, are from another country, or speak with a different accent), many other children are bullied without any obvious reason. Don’t forget that bullies have sometimes been bullied themselves.

4."My school says there’s no bullying here...." Your school may be very lucky to have no bullying problem at the moment, but most schools recognise that bullying does go on, and many are doing something about it. If your school is ignoring bullying, talk to your mum or dad about what to do. They might be able to talk to other parents, and meet with the Head to try to tackle the problem.