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Family & Relationships


'Advice' For Those Abused

'The best ideas/help/words I ever got from anyone to help me survive were:

1. It is OK to be angry

2. It gets worse before it gets better

3. There are no easy answers

4. I am not alone

5. Listening without judgement

6. It doesn't matter how long ago IT happened

7. It is OK to hurt



1.    "You can do anything you want to do, within reason of course" - Kenneth H. Harrison, my HS English teacher.

2.    "I raised you to be a survivor." - my Mom.

3.    "I believe in you." - everyone who ever said it.

don "i like you." "you didn't do anything bad to deserve the treatment you got." they listened. they heard then they listened some more. they kept/keep their distance as i require, without personalizing my need as a personal affront to them. there's more, but it's not quite 7 am and mornings aren't my forte take care tribble

'The best ideas/help/words I ever got from anyone to help me survive were:

1. For sexual abuse: The Courage to Heal, by Laura Davis and Ellen Bass. It's a lot like torture, especially for someone new on the path to healing. But, it is also very cleansing. I recommend it to many survivors-- friends and strangers alike.

2. For all of the abuse: Writing. Journaling, poetry, short stories and letters (especially hate mail). Having a hard time with verbal communication, I have found that writing is a good source for recovering my "voice." Also, when I see my thoughts and emotions on paper, I can see when I'm lying to myself. And purging the poison is helpful too. Anything I don't want anyone else to see, I simply burn.

3. My friend and mentor-the first man ever to earn a modicum of trust from me once said "This is your path; not mine. I can walk with you. I can cry with you. I can hold your hand. I can even hurt for you. But...I cannot heal for you. Here, you are on your own, but...you are never alone." I hope these are helpful.

Lucky



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