ARE YOU FEELING OLD? You will after you read this! YIKES!!!!!

If not, consider this: This fall’s college freshman class was born after 1980.

** The Iranian hostage crisis occurred before they were conceived.

** They have no memory of a time before MTV.

** “New Wave” is their parents’ musical generation.

** They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan era.

** They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.

** If they have heard the name “Oliver North,” it was probably as a losing congressional candidate or perhaps in some obscure survey history text’s reference, such as might be made to Huey Long or Teapot Dome.

** Black Monday 1987 is as insignificant to them as the Great Depression.

** Their world has always included AIDS.

** Having not lived through the Disco Scare, they can romanticize the 1970s.

** They see “Family Ties” as something middle-aged ladies watch.

** Atari predates them, as do vinyl albums and cassette audiotapes.

** From their earliest years, a camera was something you used once and threw away.

** The oil crisis is history of which they probably know nothing — and why anyone wouldn’t buy a suburban is beyond them.

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