"Earl C. Shriver" wrote... > Hi! I've been noticing some strange behaviours among the neighborhood

> children. Can anyone tell me if there are any telltale signs of a child

> being abused.

http://www.missingkids.org/html/ncmec_default_ec_cse_exploitation_signs.htm : Parents should be alert to the below noted indicators of sexual and physical abuse and exploitation.

- Changes in behavior, extreme mood swings, withdrawal, fearfulness, and excessive crying. - Changes in bed-wetting, nightmares, fear of going to bed, or other sleep disturbances. - Acting out inappropriate sexual activity or showing an unusual interest in sexual matters. - A sudden acting out of feelings or aggressive or rebellious behavior. - Regression to infantile behavior; clinging. - School problems, behavior problems. - Changes in toilet-training habits. - A fear of certain places, people, or activities; an excessive fear of going to a certain place. - Bruises, rashes, cuts, limping, multiple or poorly explained injuries. - Pain, itching, bleeding, fluid, or rawness in the private areas.

You should note that some of these behaviors may have other explanations, but it is important to assist your child no matter what the cause of these symptoms or behaviors.

http://www.aap.org/advocacy/childhealthmonth/ABUSE2.HTM : Signs of Emotional Abuse: Not all child abuse is physical. Emotional abuse is one of the most common and harmful forms of child abuse. Making fun of a child, name calling, always finding fault, and showing no respect can damage a child's self-esteem. The child ... - may find it hard to make friends. - may avoid doing things with other children and being places where he's expected to be loving. - may tend to be pushy and hostile. - might have a hard time learning, be overly active, or have problems such as bed-wetting or soiling. - might act falsely grown up, having to care for adults or others far beyond what should be expected for the child's age.

When emotional abuse occurs often and over a long period of time, it can have a lifelong impact. It can affect a child's happiness, relationships and success.

The child ... - may become gloomy and depressed, unable to enjoy himself. He might do things that work against himself. - could become self-destructive, injuring herself, or even attempting suicide.

As with other types of abuse, parents who were emotionally abused are most likely to emotionally abuse their own children. To stop abusing, they need to become aware of how they are treating their children. Often they do not know how damaging their behavior is. If they knew what they were doing and knew how much it hurt their child, they would probably want to stop it.

Visiting a pediatrician or other physician or a member of the clergy is a good way to start looking for help. He or she might refer you to a mental health expert. Also, many community agencies and churches offer parenting classes that can help you talk to your child and begin to solve your problems.

Adapted from Caring for Your School-age Child: Ages 5 to 12, ©American Academy of Pediatrics (Bantam, 1995).

http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/2594/abuse.html : HOW TO TELL IF YOUR CHILD MAY HAVE BEEN MOLESTED

In most cases there are no blatant signs that a child has been molested, however as a parent it is important to trust your instincts. If you think something is wrong it probably is, and it is important to get children to talk to you about whatever problems they have. The following are some indicators that something may have happened:

BEHAVIORAL INDICATORS * Unusual interest in and/or knowledge of sexual activity, inappropriate to the child's age * Promiscuity, seductive behavior * Change in personal hygiene habits, excessive cleanliness or lack of cleanliness. * Weight gain or loss, change in appetite * Sleep disturbances: bedwetting, nightmares * Depression, anger, irritability * Reluctance to go home or other places * Avoidance of certain people and places * Inappropriate dress, such as tight or revealing clothing or overdressing, wearing many layers of clothing regardless of weather * Sexual drawings or stories

PHYSICAL INDICATORS * Pregnancy * Venereal disease * Trauma to the mouth or genitals * Excessive masturbatory behavior * Rectal bleeding *Torn or blood stained clothing * Attempts to touch adult's, children's or animal's genitals * Pain or discomfort in the genital area

WHY CHILDREN DON'T TELL There is a myriad of reasons why children don't tell about sexual abuse. The biggest of these is fear. Children are afraid no one will believe them especially since many abusers tell children this. Children often believe the threats of their abuser. Children fear that the abuser will hurt them or their families if they tell. Children also don't tell because they feel guilty. They may feel guilty if they get an adult "in trouble". Children often feel they are somehow responsible for their abuse. Often since children know their abusers they care about these people and don't want to "tattle". Children are many times threatened by the abusers that they will be taken away from home. I know this from experience. Everyone fears the unknown, especially children, and as parents we must teach our children that if this ever happens to them we will protect and believe them.

WHAT TO DO IF YOUR CHILD HAS BEEN ABUSED I can barely remember most of the incidents that occurred to me as a child, it's mostly a blur to me but one thing I can remember is the first sentence out of my mother's mouth when I told her. She asked me if I had made it up because I hated my step-father. The moments after a child makes a disclosure of sexual abuse are crucial to the child's mental health. The following are some guidelines on how to effectively deal with a child who has opened up to you.

* Remain calm, underreact, a child can easily interpret signs of anger or disgust as directed toward him or her. * ALWAYS BELIEVE THE CHILD!!! In most circumstances a child does not lie about sexual abuse as it is very painful and embarassing to talk about. * Listen to the child and answer any questions honestly * Give the child positive input such as, "It's not your fault" and "I'm proud of you for telling" * Seek professional help immediately...contact legal authorities and the Department of Human Services, find a counselor trained in sexual abuse therapy, your local Sexual Assault Crisis Center can refer you to counseling services. * Arrange a medical exam, not only is it important to make sure no long term physical harm has been done, but it may be important for legal evidence