From an anonymous ‘Net-friend:

Reply from a ‘How are you?’ email I sent out. How do I respond?

~~~

“Things are going ok i suppose. Its taken a while to adjust. My wife kicked me out after i leftthe job which was a bit of a bugger, and most of my pay-out went to her to support her and our son. I had to find somewhere to live, which isn’t that easy when you’re unemployed, so ended up in a real dive. Bit of a shock really, and probably a bad move, since I got hooked on some hard drugs.

The real bummer was losing custody, and that got me more depressed. one thing led to another and i ended up in court for assault. Just really angry about things, you know. That was really a good thing though, because I really took a long hard look at my life, and now I’ve found God.

We should catch up some time.”

~~~

My response:

Hi my friend,

First read http://jmm.aaa.net.au/articles/8541.htm for some basic principles of counseling/listening…

Hear his story, be reflective (feed back what you hear, rather than comment on most things – either by way of judgment, or feelings, though you can respond for clarification)…

Key sentences begin: ‘What I hear you say is…’

‘Help me to understand…’

Near the end ask ‘OK Where to from here…?’ and give a gift of hope (there’s always an opportunity for a fresh start)…

It would be good to do a Christianity Explained, or Alpha Course with him, if he’s really ‘found God’ and wants to follow that through…

All the best!

Shalom!

Rowland Croucher

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