You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
You are proud of your lawnmower.
Your best friend is dating someone half their age........and isn't breaking any laws.
Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
You sing along with the elevator music.
You can live without sex but not without glasses.
You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
Neighbors borrow your tools.
People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
You answer a question with "Because I said so!"
The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
You wear black socks with sandals.
You know what the word "equity" means.
You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
You got cable so you can watch the Weather Channel.
You can go bowling without drinking.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
