Police explanation

A man was driving down a local street one day and approached a stop
sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after
glancing for traffic. What the driver didn’t know was that a policeman
was watching the intersection. The policeman pulled out after him and
stopped the car two blocks away.

Policeman: "License, registration and proof of insurance
please."

Driver: "Before I give it to you, tell me what the heck you
stopped me for, man."

Policeman: "Watch your tone sir; you ran the stop sign back
there!"

Driver: "Man, I slowed down, what the heck is the
difference?"

The police officer pulled out his night stick and began bonking It
over the mans head and shoulders. Bang! Bang! Womp! Bang!

Policeman: "Now, do you want me to just slow down or stop!!!?

Champion of the World

At the height of the arms race, the Americans and Russians realized
that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up
the whole world.

One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with
one dog fight. They’d have five years to breed the best fighting dog in
the world and which ever side’s dog won would be entitled to dominate
the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.

The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler in
the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They
selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed
his siblings, and gave him all the milk. They used steroids and trainers
and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had
ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and
nobody could get near it.

When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a
strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry
for the Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog could
possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog. When the cages were
opened up, the Dachshund came out of it’s cage and slowly waddled over
towards the Russian dog. The Russian dog snarled and leaped out of it’s
cage and charged the American dachshund. But, when it got close enough
to bite the Dachshund’s neck, the Dachshund opened it’s mouth and
consumed the Russian dog in one bite. There was nothing left at all of
the Russian dog.

The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in
disbelief. "We don’t understand how this could have happened. We
had our best people working for five years with the meanest Dobermans
and Rottweilers in the world and the biggest meanest Siberian
wolves."

"That’s nothing", an American replied. "We had our
best plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look
like a Dachshund."

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