In celebration of the complexities of the English language, we bring you
the following:
Lets face it English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted but if we examine its paradoxes we
find:-
that Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square And
a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be
phone beeth
If the teacher taught, why didn’t the preacher praught.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables why don’t humanitarians eat
human!?
Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day and as cold as hell on
another?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language:-
whereby a house can burn up as it burns down.
You fill in a form by filling it out.
A bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers and it reflects the
creativity of the human race (Which of course isn’t a race at all)
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