Q: What’s the difference between a dead lawyer lying in the road and a dead skunk lying
in the road?

A: There are skid marks in the road in front of the skunk.

- Sent by PennyR (a lawyer!)

 Do unto others…

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer.
"If I lose this case, I’ll be ruined!"

"Well, It’s ultimately in the judge’s hand’s," said the lawyer.

"Would it help if you sent the judge a box of cigars?"

"Oh no!" replied the lawyer. "This judge is a stickler or ethical
behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in
contempt of court. In fact, you shouldn’t even smile at the judge."

Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As
the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about
the cigars. I’m sure we would have lost the case if you’d sent them."

"But I did send them. That’s how we won the case."

"What?" gasped his client. "I don’t understand!"

He shrugged, "I also enclosed the plaintiff’s business card."

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