Matters Into Her Own Hands

A blonde went into a shoe store to buy a pair of alligator shoes. After trying them on, she asked about the price. Learning that the shoes were very expensive, she decided she would go out into the bayou and get her own alligator shoes.

Later that afternoon, the shopkeeper was on his way home, going through the bayou, when he noticed the same blonde with a 12-guage shotgun. She was dragging a 12-foot alligator onto the bank, where she stacked it near a large pile of alligators. As she turned the gator over, he heard her shout, "Damn,this one isn't wearing shoes either." ______________________________________________________________

Playing Golf

I play golf in the low 80's," the little old man was telling one of the young boys at the club.

"Wow," said the young man, "that's pretty impressive."

"Not really," said the little old man. "Any hotter and I'd probably have a stroke." ______________________________________________________________