A young executive was leaving the office of a major corporation late one evening when he found the CEO himself standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

Eager to make a good impression, the young exec introduced himself and asked if he could be of any help.

“Why yes,” said the CEO, holding up the piece of paper. “This is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?”

“Certainly,” said the young executive, happy for a chance to help the boss. The young man turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

“Excellent, excellent!” said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. “I’ll need two copies.”

The Artist

Mary goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it.

Mary walks over to the artist and says, “I don’t understand your paintings.”

“I paint what I feel inside me,” explains the artist.

“Have you ever tried Alka-Seltzer?”

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