GOD ORDERED TO STOP CHEATING FOR HOME TEAM

WASHINGTON, DC (DPI) - The US Supreme Court ruled Monday that prayer over the intercom of high school football games was an illegal form of or "game fixing." In a 6-3 ruling, the Court determined that student-initiated prayer gave the home team an advantage over opponents who can only pray for victory without the aid of the stadium's public address system. The decision noted that amplified prayer was much more likely to be heard by God, and therefore acted upon, than prayer carried to the heavens by mere whispering or normal vocalization. By referring to God as "The Big Referee" and "The Ultimate Sports Commissioner" the Court was able to side step all issues of separation of church and state and first amendment rights by placing the decision firmly within the generally accepted laws governing sports and betting.