Government minister Senator the Honorable Addlebrain today called for a crackdown on public eating.

"It's shocking that all these restaraunts are encouraging shameless public eating. I walked along a public road last night and found hundreds, if not thousands, of people eating in full view of passers-by."

"The current system of self-regulation of the hospitality industry clearly isn't working", continued the minister. "Surveys have shown that children exposed to eating are more likely to engage in the practice themselves when they grow up."

Civil liberties campaigner Mr Bleeding Obvious commented: "Eating is a natural part of life. It's not illegal in any civilised country. If parents want to prevent their children viewing the consumption of food, they shouldn't let them frequent those areas where restaraunts are found."

But Mrs Biggurt, from the Society for the Protection of Children, said that eating led inevitably to pedophagy, and that the government had a responsibility to restrict the growing number of children being eaten, by imposing stricter controls on the public consumption of food.

The current government has been gradually tightening the controls on eating during its term in office. The Office for the suppression of Freedom, Liberty and Choice (OFLC) recently banned the film _The Last Supper_, on the grounds that it depicted people who were once under the age of 16 in the act of consuming food.

- (Danny Yee)