THE RURAL AUSTRALIAN THESAURUS OF COMPUTER TERMS

Log On – Make the barbie hotter

Log Off – Don’t add any more wood

Monitor – Keeping an eye on the barbie

Download – Get the firewood off the ute

Hard drive – trip back home without any cold tinnies

Floppy Disc – What you get lifting too much firewood at once

Keyboard – where you hang the ute, and bike keys

Window – What you shut when it’s cold

Screen – What you shut in the mozzie season

Byte – What mozzies do

Bit – What mozzies did

Mega Byte – What Townsville mozzies do

Chip – A bar snack

Micro Chip – What’s left in the bag after you have eaten the chips

Modem – What you did to the lawns

Dot Matrix – Old Dan Matrix’s wife

Laptop – Where the cat sleeps

Software – Plastic knives and forks you get at Big Rooster

Hardware – Real stainless steel knives and forks from K Mart

Mouse – What eats the grain in the shed

Mainframe – What holds the shed up

Web – What spiders make

Web Site – The shed or under the verandah

Cursor – The old bloke down the pub who swears a lot

Search Engine – What you do when the ute won’t go

Yahoo – what you say when the ute does go

Upgrade – A steep hill

Server – The person at the pub that brings out the counter lunch

Mail Server – The bloke at the pub that brings out the counter lunch

Internet – Complicated fish net repair method

Netscape – When fish manoeuvres out of reach of net

Online – When you get the laundry hung out

Off Line – When the pegs don’t hold the washing up

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