Borrowed Laughs #6

Annoying???

61. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

63. Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.

65. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 66. Chew on pens that you've borrowed. 67. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

68. Wear a LOT of cologne.

69. Ask to "interface" with someone.

70. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing".

71. Sing along at the opera.

73. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!"

74. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".

75. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".

76. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

77. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".

78. Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."

79. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture".

80. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

82. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

83. Never make eye contact.

84. Never break eye contact.

85. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

86. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn. 88. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

89. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

No individual part of this newsletter may be reproduced without proper credit given to both the author and Laugh A Day New Media. Copyright 1997, Laugh A Day New Media http://members.aol.com/wwwizkid82 Derek Webster