A road map will tell us everything we need to know, except how to fold it up again.

An Easterner walked into a Western saloon and was amazed to see a dog sitting at a table playing poker with three men. "Can that dog really read cards?" he asked. "Yeah, but he ain't much of a player," said one of the men. "Whenever he gets a good hand he wags his tail."

The trouble with self made men is that they worship their creator.

A young girl visited a farm one day and wanted to buy a large watermelon. "That's three dollars" said the farmer. "I've only got 30 cents" said the young girl. The farmer pointed to a very small watermelon in the field and said "How about that one?" "Okay, I'll take it," said the young girl. "But leave it on the vine. I'll be back for it in a month."

Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably why so few people engage in it. (Henry Ford)

A father and his small son were out walking one afternoon when the youngster asked how the electricity went through the wires stretched between the telephone poles. "Don't know," said the father. "Never knew much about electricity." A few blocks farther on the boy asked what caused lightning and thunder. "To tell the truth," said the father, "I never exactly understood that myself." The boy continued to ask questions throughout the walk, none of which the father could explain. Finally, as they were nearing home, the boy asked, "Pop, I hope you don't mind my asking so many questions..." "Of course not", replied the father. "How else are you going to learn?"

There's a sure fire way to double your money; fold it in half and put it in your pocket.