You know it is time for a diet when:

-You dive into a swimming pool so your friends can go surfing. -You have to apply your makeup with a paint roller. -Weight Watchers demands your resignation. -You step on a pennyweight scale that gives you your fortune and it says, "One at a time, please!" -Your face is so full that you look like you're wearing horn-rimmed contact lenses. -The bus driver asks you to sit on the other side because he wants to make a turn without flipping over. -You're at school in the classroom and turn around and erase the entire blackboard. -They throw puffed rice at your wedding. -You hiccup in your bathing suit, and it looks like someone adjusting a venetian blind. -You fall down and try to get up, and in the process rock yourself to sleep.