At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period. "Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's somethin' I can't figger out." "What's that Joey?" asked Goldblatt. "Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?" "Right." "An' the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?" "Er--right." "An' the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?" "Again you're right." "An' the Children of Israel fought the 'gyptians, an' the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an' the Children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin' important, right?" "All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?" "What I wanna know is this," demanded Joey. "What wuz all the grown-ups doin?" --Selected from InHis.com (educational humor): http://www.inhis.com/HumorNew/sub1.asp?cat=17 THE LESSONS OF LIFE I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life. I've learned that it's taking a long time to become the person I want to be. I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. I've learned that you can keep going long after you can't. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you. I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score. I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up. I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. I've learned that no matter how good friends are, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief. I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other--and just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do. I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being. I've learned that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon. --Selected from Mikey's Funnies: http://www.mikeysfunnies.com
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