If Biblical Headlines were written by Today's Liberal Media

On Red Sea crossing:

WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE Pursuing Environmentalists Killed

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----

On David vs. Goliath:

HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION Psychologist Questions Influence of Rock

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----

On Elijah on Mt. Carmel:

FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY 400 Killed

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----

On the birth of Christ:

HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----

On feeding the 5,000:

PREACHER STEALS CHILD'S LUNCH Disciples Mystified Over Behavior

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----

On healing the 10 lepers:

LOCAL DOCTOR'S PRACTICE RUINED "Faith Healer" Causes Bankruptcy

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----

On healing of the Gadarene demoniac:

MADMAN'S FRIEND CAUSES STAMPEDE Local Farmer's Investment Lost

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----

On raising Lazarus from the dead:

FUNDAMENTALIST PREACHER RAISES A STINK Will Reading to be Delayed