REAL NEWSPAPER ADS:

Snow blower for sale... Only used on snowy days.

Wire mesh butchering gloves: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair: $15

Nordic track $300 hardly used, call chubby

Georgia peaches California grown - 89 cents lb.

Nice parachute: never opened - used once

Joining nudist colony! Must sell washer & dryer $300.

Open house: body shapers toning salon - free coffee & donuts