Long lines of people were waiting at the Pearly Gates to have their credentials checked before gaining admittance. St Peter was supervising. Two old priests were standing near the head of one line when St Peter suddenly rushed towards the back and brought an attractive blonde to the front. There was no checking anything, she was allowed straight through.

The priests looked at each other wondering. St Peter said, “Six months ago she bought a bright red sports car. Since then she’s put the fear of God into more people than you have in your whole lives.”

—————————————————————————- —————————————————– A man went to a Catholic hospital for surgery on his throat. When he came to afterwards, a nun was sitting by his bed. “We’ll need to talk about how you are going to pay for this operation.” She said. “Have you any money with you?” “No.” he croaked. “Any savings?” “No.” “What about relatives who could help?” “My only sister is a spinster. She’s a nun.” he replied.

At this the nun drew herself up and indignantly said, “We are not spinsters! We’re married to God!”

“Well,” the man said, “if you want the money, ask my brother-in-law.”

(This came via an internet chat show and was given to me by a Catholic lady who now comes to Williamstown Baptist.)

_____

Our local AOG pastor told us this one:

One of the Popes died and went to heaven. Jesus met him and offered to take him around. He was very impressed by all the gold and the wonderful buildings. They passed a particularly magnificent gold building and the Pope asked what was inside. Jesus said, “This is where we keep the word of God – the original Bible.” The Pope replied, “I love the word of God. Please may I spend some time reading there?” “Certainly,” Jesus replied. “I’ll just wait outside, you come when you’re ready.” Time went by and suddenly there was a griefstricken wail from inside. “O no! O no! O no!” Jesus rushed in. “Whatever is the matter?” he said. The Pope replied, “All these years! It says celebrate, not celibate!”

God bless you today Di Dow

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