Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 P.M.. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.