You better brush up on your American history first..

After dying a grisly death in an Afghan cave, Osama Bin Laden made his way to the Pearly Gates.

Before he could get to talk to St Peter, he was greeted by George Washington. “I’ve been waiting for you! How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!” yelled Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry came up from behind. “You wanted to end America’s liberty, so they gave you death!” Henry punched Osama on the nose.

James Madison came next, and said, “This is why I allowed the government provide for the common defense!” He took a sledgehammer and whacked Osama’s knees.

Osama was subjected to similar beatings from John Randolph, James Monroe, and 65 other founding fathers of the USA. As he writhed on the ground, Thomas Jefferson hurled him toward the gate where he was to be judged. St Peter told him he was sorry but there was no record of his name in the Book of Life, and he was to be deported to Downunder (no, not Australia – the other hot place).

Osama screamed, “This is not what I was promised!”

An angel replied, “Well, I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you if you died a martyr’s death. What did you think I said?”

Related Articles:

• Humo[u]r
• Humo[u]r
• ATHEIST HOLY DAY :-)
• Humo[u]r (corny :-)
• Creative words (this list is not for wowsers…)

This work, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Australia License.