A NEW AESOP'S FABLE

Mr Rabbit was walking down the road when he spotted a crow at the tip of a very tall tree He shouted, "Good morning Mr Crow." Mr Crow shouted back down, "Good morning Mr Rabbit."

Mr Rabbit shouted up, "Watcha doin today?" And the answer shouted back was, "Absolutely nothinq Mr Rabbit-absolutely nothing and loving it"

Well, that sounded pretty good to Mr Rabbit, so he shouted back up, "Do you think I could do that too?" Mr Crow shouted back down, "I don't see why not!" So, Mr Rabbit lay down on the side of the road and began Doing Absolutely Nothing.

30 minlltes later a fox came along and ate the rabbit

The moral of the story is: You can get away with Doing Absolutely Nothing, but only if you are really high up.

THINGS ONL Y A MOTHER CAN TEACH

1. My Mother taught me ANTICIPATION. I! Just wait until your father gets home."

2. My Mother taught me LOGIC. I!lf you fallout of that swing and break your neck, your not going shopping with me."

3. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. I!lf you don't stop crossing your eyes,

they are going to freeze that way."

4. My Mother taught me HUMOUR. I!When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

5. My Mother taught me how to become an ADUL T. I!lf you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

6. My Mother taught me about SEX. .'How do you think you got here?"

7. My Mother taught me about GENETICS. I!You're just like your father."

8. And the favourite...JUSTICE. I!One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out

just like you. ...then you'll see what it's like.

~~~~ MOST WANTED

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted men.

One of the kids pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want him very badly."

So, little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

~~~~~~~

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly,

and for the same reason.

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

Brain cells come and go, but fat cells live for ever. Life not only begins at forty, it also begins to show.

A fanatic is a person who is highly enthusiastic about something in which you are not even remotely interested.