by Mikal Frazier, LMFT, LPC

"The world is trying the experiment of attempting to form a civilized but non-Christian mentality. The experiment will fail; but we must be very patient in awaiting its collapse; meanwhile redeeming the time: so that the Faith may be preserved alive through the dark ages before us; to renew and rebuild civilization, and save the world from suicide."

-- T.S. Eliot (circa 1930)

The pervasive exercise of divorce (dimly masking our selfishness) is a key player in Eliot's predicted collapse. There are indications that the rate of divorce may be slowing its ascent. Perhaps we are on the brink of beginning the rebuilding process.

Anthropologists have told us that the family is the foundation of our western society, and that as the family deteriorates, our society will crumble. So what is the state of our nation?

Economists are informing us of our present prosperity. To many this seems to be the end of the story. But is the lion sleeping?

In Luke 12, Jesus tells about a man who seemed to think that his prosperity was the end of the story. As he assessed his generous crops he decided to build bigger barns and said, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry."

God's message countered: "You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself? This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God."

Following is the story on our foolishness:

• Substance abuse is rampant.
• Lawlessness abounds.
• Schools are no longer safe.
• Crack babies are born and abandoned.
• One-third of our children are born without the benefit of married parents.
• Each night in America 4 out of 10 children go to sleep without fathers in their home.
• Sixty percent of our children will spend some major part of their childhood without fathers.
• Oppositional and impulsive behaviors are on the increase.
• We are tied with Russia for having the largest percentage of our population incarcerated.
• In 1970 there were two major sexually transmitted diseases. Today there are 25 major sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
• In 1970 1 in 300 Americans had a curable, bacterial STD.
• Today l out of every 4 Americans has an incurable, viral STD.
• Young people are murdering their parents and themselves.
• Parents are murdering their children.

The economic prosperity of America hardly tells the story. We are thriving. We can pay for our lawyers, addictions, divorces, infections and coffins for our dying children. But money is not a cure for the soul of the individual or the nation.

For a long time, the powers that be tried to convince us that the social ills befalling America were in no way related to the breakdown of the family through divorce. A casual look at the evidence contradicts that fallacy. We have to hurt bad enough to want to do something different. Out of this pain was born the marriage education movement -- a plan to teach the skills, perspectives and core beliefs which strengthen the marital bond.

The heart of the solution is a return to God's plan for the family -- a mother and father devoted first to God, then to one another, and together committed to raising their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matthew 19:6).

August 2000