by Revd John Simpson,
(General Superintendent, Baptist Union of Victoria, Australia)

A few years back a pastor who left his congregation under a cloud
defined rather wistfully the kind of church he would like to be
called to in the future: one where he would be accepted for who he
was, where the leadership had great vision and where there were no
critics. He is still looking (along with every other pastor on the
face of the earth)!

Critics: They have an impressive history. …

Like it or not, effective leadership is all about coping with
criticism. Love them or loathe them, your consistent critics are
unlikely to retire, or have a huge change of heart tomorrow, or
become secretary of your fan club.

In case you have not realised it, critics are not some recent
invention. Spend a few moments with Moses, or Elijah, or David.
They all had their in house critics. Scarcely a day went by without
Jesus having to look His in the eye. So it is a good idea to figure
out how to handle the critical gang rather than simply praying that
they will be prematurely called to Glory enabling us to press on
with the business of the Kingdom without further interruption.

Leadership has always been difficult: it seems to be much easier to
find fault than contribute constructively to the working through of
difficult and sensitive problems.

Some basic realities

No ministry can be exercised without criticism (fair and
unwarranted), or the need for a thick skin (beyond what you may
naturally be blessed with). Keep in mind the following:

* There is definitely a place for constructive comment and
criticism. These need to be identified and received with a very
different spirit from the uncharitable back chat, harping and
put down which regrettably is also a part of church life.

* The church is for everyone regardless of stage of life, health
(physical and mental), background, experience and ability. Like
no other community group, the church actively throws its doors
open to all comers. Some congregations do this better than
others, of course. It is to be expected that some will arrive as
optimists and enthusiasts, others as incurable pessimists and
gifted fault finders.

* It is hardly surprising that no pastor can ever hope to meet the
expectations of such a diverse group of people be they active
supporters or carping critics. The challenge is to create an
environment where everybody can be heard and where a genuine
effort can be made to act on all suggestions which offer better
ways forward.

* We owe more to our critics than we probably realise. How many
proposals, strategies and ministries generally have been
revisited and made much more effective because our critics had
something to say?

* Critics sharpen up our leadership gifts. As we learn how to
cope well with criticism, our ability to lead is stretched, our
sensitivity to other viewpoints is developed and there comes a
fresh confidence to lead which is not easily thrown by
unexpected reversals. We can take much more in our stride than
we ever thought possible.

* Criticism often reveals much more about the critic than the
matter being addressed. Patient and wise acceptance of the
harshest criticism may actually guide us into fresh ways of
understanding and meeting the personal needs of our critics
which could, in fact, be the real issue.

Who are the critics?

While it is impossible to identify all the sub groups of critics,
here’s a summary of the most obvious:

* Those valuable souls who are committed to the very best for
pastor and congregation alike. They on the lookout for ways to
enhance the ministry of the church and are willing to critique
areas of ministry and activity where the pastor and people could
be doing better. They may not always say it with total grace and
their words may hurt occasionally but they are on side and you
cannot fault their heart or intentions. The worst mistake is to
treat them as if they are the “enemy.”

* The people who regard the church as theirs: they are the
proprietors, the long term families who have carried the church
(or feel that they have) and may see the latest pastor as a
temporary intrusion and probably not equal to leading the church
in the manner to which they have been accustomed.

* The people whom life has dealt a difficult hand (and may be
through no fault of their own): the abused emotionally and
physically who have immense problems and require loving pastoral
care and usually professional help as well (although they may
not see the need for this). You will find it hard to solve their
problems and may be judged as pastorally inadequate.

* Those for whom criticism is some kind of calling. It is hard to
know what drives them. They may have:

– Problems with perceived authority figures (which includes
church leaders).

– Profound personal problems which may lead them to project their
tensions and inadequacies onto others with leaders being sitting
ducks.

– An enhanced view of their own skills, Bible knowledge, and
capacity for ministry such that they believe they could do much
better than the pastor.

Unfortunately there can be a meanness which is part of this
particular package. This crowd have a healthy track record for
talking behind the back of the leadership. They also have a rare
skill for dumping their burdens on church meetings without
notice and often couch this with an impressive spiritual overlay.

* The people who have been let down by the church: they have had
bad experiences which have never been adequately addressed and it
is almost always the pastor (past or present) who is seen to be
at fault.

What criticisms are you likely to collect?

A pastor is likely to collect four major varieties of criticism:

1. Criticisms of your doctrine and/or theological position. These
are most likely to surface after a sermon but can pop up at any
time. Some will be sincerely offered and deserve thoughtful
attention. But there are those people who derive immense
satisfaction from keeping the pastor on the biblical straight
and narrow (at least as they define it). Good dialogue can be an
outcome but if you are dealing with hard liners not open to
alternative views of Scripture, it will not only be wasted time
but could deteriorate into real conflict.

2. Criticisms of your gifts, abilities, of not living up to
performance expectations (especially by those who consider that
they could be ministering much better than you). This is a happy
hunting ground for many who would still not be impressed if you
could raise the dead. There should be no reason for surprise
here though. No one pastor has all the gifts (need it be said) so
you will always pull up short in the eyes of some.

3. Criticisms of you personally and/or your family (many
possibilities) This is the unkind stuff especially if your spouse
or kids are in the firing line (and they never should be).
Almost always marked by a monumental lack of charity from people
who, more often than not, have their own ample collection of
traumas.

4. Criticism of church related matters (worship, leadership, many
options) This is to be expected and represents the occupational
hazards which come with diversity. Great if the middle ground
can be found though this is not always easy. People have many
differing experiences of church and your flavour will not gel
with everyone. But there is plenty of scope for finding new
ways forward and fresh approaches if listening and negotiation is
a strength.

Keeping a place for ongoing review

A creative way of dealing with criticism is to develop processes
for review and evaluation where potentially difficult matters can
be tackled early:

* Some pastors invite informal evaluation time each time the
leadership meets. This is an integral agenda activity and is a
checking of the church’s pulse. It also nurtures a safety net
where issues which might become awkward can be identified and
attended to before they become sticky.

* Others encourage a regular, formal review of congregational life
(at least annually and sometimes more often) as an ordinary,
ongoing aspect of the church’s modus operandi. This essentially
eliminates the need for major reviews and has similar outcomes
to regular leadership evaluations: issues are noted as they arise
and are dealt with promptly. It is a bonus for a congregation to
ponder its direction and its effectiveness in service as a normal
practice.

How to shoot yourself in the foot!

Of all the challenges facing a pastor, coping with criticism is one
where it is all too easy to damage yourself. It is not hard to do.
For example:

* Insist that there is no reason for a criticism to be made. This
is to forget that perception is reality. If there is something
bothering someone, it is worth paying attention. You may still
think it is marginal and unwarranted but at least find out what
the issue actually is. Brush it off now and you will probably
live long enough to regret not having taken the time to listen.

* Assume that all criticisms are mounted as a personal attack.
True, some critics are specialists in personal abuse (although
they usually mount their attacks with considerable piety). But
it is a major error of judgement to react to a genuine concern
with all barrels blazing. You will have just passed up the
opportunity to demonstrate great grace and patience. Self defence
is a wonderfully effective strategy for putting thoughtful people
off side.

* Propose that the criticisms offered are wildly inaccurate.
There is always a tendency to demolish critics with great gusto.
It is another form of self defence. Obviously some criticisms
will be wide of the mark, misinformed and unhelpful but do you
really want to lose connection with your critic? A courteous
offering of an alternative, more accurate assessment is much
better than doing a snow job with what may lead to public
humiliation of the critic.

* Go off the deep end! You won’t be the first to lose your cool
but you will have plenty of time to regret it. By all means let
off steam in an angry letter but do yourself a favour and don’t
send it. If you want to chew someone’s ear off, go to ground
for a few days. “Having it out” with a critic in a fit of rage
is disastrous, a supremely bad model and suggests an abiding
insecurity. It is not surprising for powerful emotions to be
generated by tough criticism especially if the target is a
favourite project in which you have invested a great deal of
effort. But sit on your feelings until some perspective is
restored.

* Assume that the presenting issue is the one to be addressed. It
is all too easy to respond to a criticism imagining that it is
the one requiring your attention. But what you are hearing may
not be the big deal at all. It pays to take your time to
clarify the source of tension. You may find that the real
problem is hidden away behind many words: you could waste much
energy attending to the presenting problem which may be nothing
more than a smoke screen for a rather more pressing and very
different dilemma.

So how do I cope with my critics? A few rules of thumb:

1. Always respond to your critics with appreciation! This will be
affirming for those who are trying to be helpful and will come as
a surprise to those who are not. In fact, the latter may be
prompted towards being constructive in the long run.

2. Make sure you understand the criticism before responding. You
may miss the pitch the first time you hear it so that any
response will miss the mark. Ask questions with sincerity. Pin
down the precise issue. This also helps to separate the person
from the issue. You are in for a little more fun than you had
planned for if you mix them up.

3. Take time if you need it. Some critics will want an answer or
explanation right away and you may be able to offer this most
times. But a complex issue will require more thought and
consideration. It is better to advise that you would like time
to contemplate such a matter rather than address it off the top
of you head. Taking time also emphasises your desire to give the
matter the attention it deserves. You may also need time to
allow your self to cool down, to get the emotions in check if the
criticism has unsettled you.

4. So, recognise your own “panic buttons”: what causes you
discomfort, or pain? What sends you into panic mode, or self
defence strategies? Learn to recognise your limitations and
reach for greater levels of personal security and maturity.
These do not come overnight.

5. Avoid trying to fix things up after the morning church service.
Make another time. Persistent critics often want to monopolise
your attention. They are time bandits.

6. Believe it or not, you don’t have to agree with every
criticism. Be thankful for comments which can be put to good
use, those which further the cause. But if there are criticisms
which you understand but which you do not endorse, so be it.
Just be ready to explain clearly why a particular line does not
sit well with you. There must always be room to agree to disagree
agreeably (as the old saying goes).

7. Find ways to disentangle with grace. Keep in mind that you do
not have to pursue every criticism in detail. Often the best
course of action is to hear your critic out and be thankful for
the view offered. But you are not bound to act on every
suggestion or adjust your strategy to suit everybody. Also, there
is no purpose pursuing debates which soon lose their point or
which become a passport to continuing tension

8. Look for ways to build a relationship. A critic who is trying
to be helpful is well worth nurturing. But don’t overlook the
value of getting to know your “problem” critics either. Getting
alongside socially and enjoying their company may not be as
tough as you thought. It could also open up deeper levels of
understanding and insight for you both.

A few more tricky ones….

It important to respond well to your critics for a number of
crucial reasons:

* Remember that some criticisms will be justified! If there is a
hint of accuracy, they may even cause pain. A humble, teachable
spirit will be able to benefit from whatever is offered. You may
need to offer an apology on occasions. So don’t go into a low
orbit unless you want to dry up the flow of helpful observations.
People will still talk; they just won’t talk to you too much if
they get a feisty reception all the time. Also, it is smarter to
hear about the rough edges from friends before the less
charitably inclined decide to do so.

* Good pastoral modelling in responding to criticism will help
others in coping with their own critics. A pastor who always
goes off the deep end, or who is unable to listen, or who
constantly feels the need to have an answer for everything, or
who always has to have the last say is not going to help others.
This kind of performance leads rapidly to serious relational
breakdowns of a kind which are hard to correct.

* Effective pastoral leadership is about caring for everyone.
This does not mean that every critic or criticism has to be taken
the same way but it does mean that everybody has a right to be
heard. The simple act of genuine listening with gratitude even
though there may be profound disagreement is usually a good way
of keeping the communication lines open with even the severest of
critics.

Don’t get carried away with anonymous letters:

* Make sure your waste paper basket is handy! Most of us are
sufficiently curious to want to read anonymous letters. But
that’s as far as it should go. If a critic is not prepared to
identify themselves, there is a huge risk in paying too much
attention to their writings. Pitching their notes into the bin is
both practical and therapeutic. Some pastors have allowed
anonymous letters to cause them far too much unnecessary
heartache.

Think twice before you follow up the back stabber:

* As sure as the sun rises, there is bound to be someone who will
talk behind your back. You will need to decide how to handle
this. If there is irrefutable evidence which can be called upon
without implicating others in awkward ways, there is great value
in seeking your critic out and suggesting that they talk to you
directly. It is the Gospel way (see Matthew 18) and can amount
to a quantum step forward in improving communication. But the
wheel can fall off too. Depending on the situation and the
personalities involved, you may want to do this with the
assistance of a mature helper.

Finally….

Few of us will enjoy the privilege of Joshua who outlived his
critics. Critics are a fact of life for all in leadership. We do
well to make room for them to be heard. There may be much to
learn; there may be little. Make no mistake, more is to be gained
by exercising patience and grace than simply ignoring those who
have a different grasp of the issues.

Great leadership is about good listening and secure responses while
still preserving the space for differing approaches and
perspectives. In the midst of many voices there is discovered much
wisdom and learning. Perhaps we should thank the Lord for our
critics rather than praying for their removal!

- John Simpson <>

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