[Notes from an Australian national conference of adult singles I spoke at in January 2001].

They are people who

1. Choose their parents well

2. Have a well-developed sense of wonder

3. Are serendipitous (happiness is not where you seek it but where you find it)

4. Have few expectations, so are rarely disappointed

5. Have a few idealistic life-goals

6. Accept others before they (the others) change

7. Live in the realm of understanding rather than overstanding

8. Know/accept who they are

9. Know why they are who they are

10. Are prepared to change

11. Are prepared to accept what they can’t change

12. Have the wisdom to know the difference between what can and can’t be changed

13. Are not only positive (rather than negative) but are also realistic

14. Treat others as subjects rather than objects (as Martin Buber put it)

15. Have moved through simplicity and complexity to simplicity the other side of complexity

16. Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life

17. Love their enemies, (but if they have been abused, are on the road to healing)

18. Take risks and learn from their failures

19. Are dealing with their key emotions – fear, guilt, grief, anger, shame

20. Listen – but not just to be needed/admired

21. Live a life of love, faith, hope

22. Have an interesting hobby

23. Welcome a new idea

24. Laugh often

25. Are disciplined

26. Have a rich devotional life

27. As adults, have ‘left father and mother’….

28. Are in touch with their shadow self – they know how the devil trips them up

29. Know their ‘stressors’

30. Have a balance in their lives between emotional input and output

31. Are comfortable in relationships of appropriate intimacy

32. View time as a servant rather than as a master

33. Enjoy regular sabbaths of days and years

34. Look after their bodies but don’t worship them

35. Know how to relax

36. Are in a few relationships of accountability.

Rowland Croucher

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