Clergy/Leaders' Mail-list No. 1-103

Rod Benson helps dispel popular myths in a series of six sermons:

I can make changes in my life quickly and painlessly.

------------------------------------- HOW TO COPE WITH CHANGE (Part 1 of 2) -------------------------------------

This afternoon some friends took me cruising the Georges River in a powerboat, and as we passed Tom Ugly's Point, one of my companions explained that, before the new residential apartments were built on the point, a less-than-salubrious hotel had stood on the site.

Change is taking place all around us. Prior to 1987 Tom Ugly's bridge had only three lanes, and prior to 1928 there was no bridge at all, and you had to wait for the punt to take you at a snail's pace from shore to shore. My grandmother, who has lived in Sydney all her life, told me last week she remembers when Blakehurst was mostly market gardens. And look at the suburb now! Developers are tearing down the existing very respectable houses to build cavernous new ones!

Another area where change has made a huge impact is the way we've come to expect instant gratification. Instant fast food, microwave meals, same day business mail, faxes, satellite telephone communications. Instant success, instant wealth, instant beauty. We even pay for our groceries instantly by electronic funds transfer. We've become experts at using the TV remote control - click, click, click, click. And we think because we can change channels at the press of a button, we ought to be able to change our lives overnight.

That's a myth that causes misery in our lives, and it's promoted by advertisers: buy this product, eat these vitamins, use this exercise machine, drive this car, read this book, attend this seminar, listen to this tape - and you'll be changed, instantly.

The truth is that, while change is necessary and inevitable, it's difficult and often slow, and it takes time and determination. Tonight I want to share with you the process God uses to change you. When you understand the process, you can cooperate and make the right decisions that lead to personal growth.

CONCERN

The first step in the process is concern. Something's just not right; you're worried, anxious, out of balance. "My heart is troubled and restless," said Job (Job 30:27, LB). There's a habit, a relationship, an unfulfilled dream, a stress point in your life bothering you, and you say, "One of these days I'll have to start working on that."

You feel uncomfortable, and that feeling may come from God. Deuteronomy 32:11 likens God to an eagle stirring up its nest. Imagine a mother eagle, surrounded by her little eaglets, and suddenly she stirs up the nest, creating holes and rifts in the nest, through which the eaglets fall - and learn to fly.

Most people never progress beyond this step. We learn to put up with discomfort and distress. We may go through our whole lives with unresolved pain, too afraid to change, easing ourselves into a state of stable discomfort. It sounds crazy, but it's a common experience.

CRISIS

So God has to bring us to step two: crisis. The heat is turned up, the pressure's on, and the pain gets so bad that you can't ignore it any more. Fire, accident, illness, financial crisis, or your spouse suddenly says, "Enough is enough! We can't go on like this. I'm not going to live like this any more."

Sometimes the issue is a small thing in itself, but it's the straw that breaks the camel's back, and you feel pain. "God sometimes uses sorrow in our lives to help us turn away from sin" (2 Corinthians 7:10, LB). It's tragic, but the only time God gets some people's attention is in a crisis, as I said last Sunday.

CHOICE

Then along comes step three: a choice. Am I going to move ahead or retreat? Will it be fight or flight? Will I wake up to reality, or live in denial? "We choose (says Job) the sounds we want to listen to; we choose the taste we want in food, and we should choose to follow what is right" (Job 34:3-4, LB).

The world will give you plenty of ways to flee your crisis: take drugs, get drunk, have an affair, drown yourself in TV, sleep to excess, descend into depression. But it's your choice: to face the crisis or flee from it, and the emotion you feel is fear.

Sometimes we convince ourselves there's too much mess in our lives to clean up. One of the first things I did when we moved into the church manse was clean out the garage, and as I moved the cupboards away from the walls, and hosed behind the plumbing pipes stored in the corner, a whole army of cockroaches and spiders and lizards appeared.

They had been hiding in the dark all this time, and suddenly I shone the light on them. When you shine the light on a problem area in your life, it's going to look ugly, and you may be tempted to say, "I don't want to deal with this."

COMPREHENSION

But you need to move on to step four: comprehension. A new understanding of your problem. In Romans 12:2 God encourages us to "be transformed by the renewing of your mind". If you want lasting change in your life, you must change the way you think.

The key is to ask God for help, because only the truth will set you free, and you get the truth from God. He has the truth about your problem; you don't. Your problem is defined by the way you look at it. And you and I have an incredible capacity to confuse ourselves.

But the truth will set you free, and hope begins to coalesce, and you say, "That's what's been happening! Maybe I can change after all!" You discover a new perspective; you see yourself in a new light.

But there's a down side: the truth does set you free, but first it makes you miserable. And knowing the truth and doing the truth are two very different things. We often make the mistake of saying, "Now I know what's wrong with me, I'm cured! I've changed!" "Now I know it, I've done it!"

I heard of a chronic stutterer recently who was into the 'name it and claim it' brand of Christianity, and one day he announced to his friends, "I'm c-c-c-c-c-cured!"

CONDUCT

But we need to move on from intellectual assent to step five: conduct - where you act on what you know. James 2:17: "Faith, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." The Bible calls this repentance: turning round our behaviour, and acting on what's right.

In step four you're working on your thoughts and attitudes; in step five it's your behaviour. We all know far more than we're doing.

I know that tonight over one billion people will go to sleep with real hunger - and one hundred million of them are my Christian brothers and sisters. But what am I doing about it? Very little. And that leads to frustration, but that's a good sign: you're making progress.

CONTINUATION

Finally, you come to step six: a commitment to continue. Your character will never be perfected as long as you live. It's lifelong change; there will always be more to work on. "Your attitudes and thoughts must all be constantly changing for the better" (Ephesians 4:23, LB). The goal is Christ-likeness; the theologians call it sanctification.

You'll never reach emotional nirvana, where you'll no longer feel any pain about anything, because we're on earth, not in heaven. What you're likely to feel at this stage, is discouragement. But hang in there, and persevere, relying on God's strength, and he will transform you.

You can be sure that if God starts something in your life, he's going to see it through to completion. Have faith in God.

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E026 Copyright (c) 2001 Rod Benson. Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible: New International Version (London: Hodder & Stoughton, 1980).

You can contact Rev Rod Benson by e-mail at <>. To subscribe direct to his weekly sermons, e-mail him with "subscribe" in the subject.