How do we begin to help people who have been hurt by the mainstream church?

My name is Craig Frost and the above question applies to me in many ways. I am a person that meets for worship in a very small and very new home fellowship in Lilydale, Victoria Australia. In fact we are just a couple of months into this new church/church plant. There are just six of us and our deepest desire is to worship God, to get know God and love others.

This questions refers to me in another way, I am also a person who has been hurt by mainstream - though well meaning Christians and churches. This is not the place to spell out what happened to me but let it suffice to say that I went through a divorce as an associate pastor of a church and suffered a lot of rejection as a result. Maybe the question could also ask the question; How do you deal with disappointment in Christians and the Church.?

I want to state from the outset that I have a deep and sincere love for God' s Church in its many forms. I have dear brothers and sisters in many of the worlds different denominations and many brothers and sisters who refer to themselves as being "outside" the traditional mainstream churches. I believe that God is active in the great majority of these many forms of church and that he Loves us in in our failed attempts to "get the church right"

The fact remains that the Church is in a process of being redeemed by Jesus. We in the church are ordinary people from various backgrounds with a few things in common. All of us has sinned and fallen short of God's plan for our lives. Most of us really love God. Most of us strive to understand and enter into God's grace and lets face it most of us come up with different ways to "do church" As a combined church we do a whole lot right and whole lot of good. The sad fact remains that as fallen people we sometimes make mistakes that hurt people. "The Church" has often failed to really minister to people who feel they have been hurt by "The Church"

There are many things that people within the church can and have done wrong. From sexual abuse all the way to failing to greet some-one when they walk into your church building. All of these many things have contributed to people leaving the church with feelings of being let down and hurt - How do we bring people to healing them back?

As I was praying about being involved with church planting I read some verses that really spoke to my life. They are from Ezekiel chapter 34.

1 And the word of the Lord came to me, saying, 2 "Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel, prophesy and say to them, 'Thus says the Lord God to the shepherds: "Woe to the shepherds of Israel who feed themselves! Should not the shepherds feed the flocks? 3 You eat the fat and clothe yourselves with the wool; you slaughter the fatlings, but you do not feed the flock. 4 The weak you have not strengthened, nor have you healed those who were sick, nor bound up the broken, nor brought back what was driven away, nor sought what was lost; but with force and cruelty you have ruled them. 5 So they were scattered because there was no shepherd; and they became food for all the beasts of the field when they were scattered. 6 My sheep wandered through all the mountains, and on every high hill; yes, My flock was scattered over the whole face of the earth, and no one was seeking or searching for them."

7 'Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the Lord: 8 "as I live," says the Lord God, "surely because My flock became a prey, and My flock became food for every beast of the field, because there was no shepherd, nor did My shepherds search for My flock, but the shepherds fed themselves and did not feed My flock"-- 9 therefore, O shepherds, hear the word of the Lord! 10 Thus says the Lord God: "Behold, I am against the shepherds, and I will require My flock at their hand; I will cause them to cease feeding the sheep, and the shepherds shall feed themselves no more; for I will deliver My flock from their mouths, that they may no longer be food for them." 11 'For thus says the Lord God: "Indeed I Myself will search for My sheep and seek them out. 12 As a shepherd seeks out his flock on the day he is among his scattered sheep, so will I seek out My sheep and deliver them from all the places where they were scattered on a cloudy and dark day. 13 And I will bring them out from the peoples and gather them from the countries, and will bring them to their own land; I will feed them on the mountains of Israel, in the valleys and in all the inhabited places of the country. 14 I will feed them in good pasture, and their fold shall be on the high mountains of Israel. There they shall lie down in a good fold and feed in rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. 15 I will feed My flock, and I will make them lie down," says the Lord God. 16 I will seek what was lost and bring back what was driven away, bind up the broken and strengthen what was sick; but I will destroy the fat and the strong, and feed them in judgment."

It seemed to me that there was a great need to try to minister to people who had fallen out the back door of the mainstream church and bring them to some place of healing. I also read Luke chapter 15. The stories of the lost coin, the lost sheep and the prodigal son. All this shows me God's great desire to bring people back to himself.

I do not have a secret formula to achieve this goal but rather a couple of principles that God has laid heavily upon my heart.

In starting this new venture of a new church I very nearly fell into a cleverly laid trap that Satan himself sets. I started tho think that maybe God would give me "THE ANSWER" and that all those "OTHERS" in church really have no idea. I realised that I had in fact not dealt with my own sense of resentment and unforgiveness in my heart.

I don't know a whole lot but I do know this God is a forgiving God - He forgave me before I even knew him. Whilst I was still a sinner Christ died for me. There is also the Lord's prayer that has a very nasty word in it "as" That word can be nasty in contest " Forgive me "as": I forgive those who trespass against me" Forgive me as I have forgiven. To be honest I want God to forgive me a whole lot better than I have forgiven others.

Healing hurt people who come to church starts and finishes with teaching them to forgive those who have hurt them.

I have been involved with some home churches and have been in contact with many people who hold a grudge against the main stream church. I have heard a lot of talk from these people about what the main stream church did and is doing wrong and how it or they hurt so many people. I have seen theology born and church living in bitter opposition to others in the church. I know that this bitterness never brings healing. It never releases people from pain it only build's more resentment. In fact it is easy to cause further pain to people by continues to tell stories of all the wrong this others have done. It reinforces their belief that the church is beyond hope and a waste of time. In these situations when one day you hurt that hurt person, which being a fallen human you will, they will leave and you will be the latest Christian on their list of failures

I believe there is a need for alternative church models to reach and minister to people who will not set foot into a mainstream church because of past pain. I am planting one of these churches for this very reason. But before I even start I know that the likely hood is that I will make mistakes and hurt people as well. I cannot come at this new venture with arrogance and bitterness but rather with the love, forgiveness and compassion of Jesus my Saviour.

To really minister to hurt people we must listen patiently to their stories and agree that so many Christians do and have failed. However we must point out that our hope is not in the church being perfect our hope is in Jesus. He is the only one who can fill us completely. He is the only one who fully loves us. He is the only one that can fill the gap that lies inside each of us. This gap is filled with a longing for love and acceptance. We so often try to have it filled by other people but the truth is every-one lets us down sooner or later, The Gap we have in our lives is what I call the God-Gap, only He can fill it.

My hope for hurting people is that through us they meet people, who though fallen are honest and real. We will try to love them where they are at whilst pointing them toward Jesus.. I also hope that we are people who will lovingly put ours arms around hurt people and steer them ever so gently towards to living water of Jesus. That living water, the source of life has as its main ingredients Love and Forgiveness.

We must be people who both forgive and encourage forgiveness on others. If like me you are in a home church or an alternative church our biggest weakness is some of the jurt we may have had from the mainstream church. Satan would love to poke and prod that saw spot in our lives. He would love it if we remain bitter and frustrated and unforgiving. For me I want to follow the way of Jesus, even as he hung on a cross he called to his Father, "Father forgive them they do not know what they are doing" I don't know about you but I have not been put on a cross yet and had the sin off all the world placed upon my. If Jesus can forgive and he is My master and Lord then I his servant must also forgive and Love.

Craig Frost