In May 2001 I published an article on the subject "Spiritual Abuse- Dead or Alive?" and received a flurry of replies from around Melbourne, Victoria and interstate. They were all saying in unison, " We know exactly what you are talking about, and we would dearly like to see something done about it ! "

I have spent a lot of the last 2 years seeking to talk with, help and/or minister to people who have suffered in this area, beginning with those who contacted me through the 2001 article, and moving on also to many others.

What do I mean by spiritual abuse? In attempting my own definition, I see it as one person or group of people, getting another or others to do something against their will, using their love and devotion to God and Jesus in a manipulative way. The whole process involves ripping away from them something incredibly precious, leaving them terribly hurt and wounded.

Graham Barker, in "The Insidious Harm of Spiritual Abuse" defines it simply as 'the manipulation and exploitation of others by the misuse of spiritual privilege and power'.

The kinds of examples of spiritual abuse I have come across frequently are :

1.. A leader or leaders pressuring ( sometimes threatening) their followers to conceal from others bad decisions or wrong things they have done, because of the feared backlash they anticipate from possible public awareness. 2.. Pressure being exerted in church and/or Christian groups on members to follow or to act in certain ways preferred by the leaders. If that preference is misrepresented as a spiritual or even Biblical requirement, that action is certainly spiritual abuse. 3.. When a person or a group of people want to remove a Christian leader such as a pastor of a church, by means similar to those given above. 4.. When a Christian in a leadership role has gone through painful divorce proceedings, but it is well known they have not been to blame, they have had ministries and opportunities to serve the Lord immediately snatched away from them by other Christian leaders, with no reasons being given. This is a time when acceptance and support from the church is needed, but instead a further injection of rejection is given. 5.. Missionary and other Christian organizations are also involved in this. Another aspect of this relates to the many indigenous people who have suffered abuse at the hands of well-meaning-though-ignorant-of-cultural-significance missionaries who have destroyed valuable aspects of culture, as well as 'converts' in their enthusiasm for Western Christianity. 6.. Spiritual abuse can happen within a family, where parents in particular can be guilty of this with their children. Children can be manipulated into all kinds of strange and wrong thinking on this level, and I believe it is one of the hardest areas to unravel and rectify. In the 2 years since my first article, I have discovered people who

1.. Are so afraid to speak of what they have been through that they have hardly been able to reveal it, and this has often come out of a fear of being guilty of displeasing the Lord, in spite of the fact that their abuser is totally at fault. 2.. Have lost their leadership and been publicly disfellowshipped from their church because they have not been prepared to hide wrongdoing that has taken place in their church. This has usually resulted in serious breaks of fellowship with other churches who don't know what has happened, but have simply respected the reputation of the first church and followed suit. 3.. Have left a church because of the wounds they have received in it, and entered a new church, taken all their wounds with them, and received no healing either in their new setting. 4.. As in c. above, but have not found a new church, even vowing to themselves never to enter the four walls of a church again. 5.. Have faced spiritual abuse in a family or extended family situation for so long that it will take much time and love and effort for their restoration, and those who have also come under their control as well. Most people I've spoken to over these last 2 years are very unaware that any others have been through very similar circumstances themselves. They often feel it's just them and they simply have to try and get over it.

I have placed an ad in this edition of New Life to hold a Spiritual Abuse Awareness Day on Saturday 13th September 2003, 9am- 5pm, at The Croydon Church of Christ Building (former), 9 Jackson St. Croydon. ( Melways Map 51: A3 ). The aim of this day will be to highlight just how real this phenomena is, to travel with some through their own experiences, and to give opportunities for people to share ( if they choose to) in a series of safe and secure smaller group settings. Solutions to the whole problem, including help for victims, the raising of Awareness amongst Churches, the building of a website etc will be looked at, but Awareness will be the main aim of the day. Tea and coffee, biscuits etc will be available on the day, and lunch can be brought or purchased locally. Registration prior to the day is requested- ring (03) 9737.9475 or write to : Peacemakers, 323 Monbulk Rd Silvan VIC 3795.

Donations accepted, but no fee is required.

Gary Parsons

Silvan VIC 3795