At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reputedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Mr. Gates' comments, General Motors issued the following press release (by Mr.Welch himself, the GM CEO) "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice daily.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally, a simple manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, so you'd have to reinstall the engine

4. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car 98" or "Car NT." But then you would have to buy more seats.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive.

6. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by one "general car default" warning light.

7. New seats would force everyone to have the same size bottom.

8. The air-bag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

9. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

10. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice department.

11. Every time GM introduced a new model, buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as before.

12. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

13. Unless you regularly put your foot on the brake, you could suddenly find yourself right back where you started.